Hello, I am new here. My name is Amelia.
I wanted to ask for help. I wanted to know how to drive further a conversation without handling over the responsibility of doing so to the other party?
Before that, let me tell you my story. When I was young, I was a talkative person and enjoyed making friends. But there was one thing I noticed about people while growing - even My own parents.
Every time I try to state my idea or opinion or tell my story, people tend to shut me out and act like my opinion is unworthy of their time when in fact they were clearly asking help on that issue, yet shut my idea out.
It made me really doubt of my capabilities so I rarely talk to people especially people I know I will meet again for the fear of them treating me the same way. I am friendly with strangers sometimes even saying 'hello' and asking about their day when clearly I am a very shy girl because I believe that if I dont have to meet them again, I wont have to embarrass myself. I become too excited when talking to the people I'm close with, which is totally normal. But when they start judging me and asking if I'm okay for acting that way, i will start doubting myself more and more. That is why in conversations, I tend to be the listener is instead of the person talking. Some people got angry with my action , but some understood but we git a bit distant afterwards because of how I was behaving.
Now, I am in a relationship with a great guy and I am in love with him. But, I am still with my same attitude of being a listener and only rarely talk and think of my own topic. He got angry at me and I feel awful because of this fear I had for years, I can't even talk to him with feeling pressured.
I need anyone's help and advice on how I can change this side of me and keep talking with no anxiety. I wanna make people comfortable with me. If you do not understand my problem, please do tell me so I can tell you a few events that associate with this.
For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
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