When someone doesn't understand the meaning behind a simple "no"

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Gozaimasu
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Joined: Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:02 pm

When someone doesn't understand the meaning behind a simple "no"

Postby Gozaimasu » Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:24 pm

It's a little microagression of mine. When an individual asks whether I am available to hangout, I would politely say no because either a). I am very busy. b). I want to spend a calm day by myself and recollect my energy. If they ask a second time, I would again tell them kindly that I am not available, if they ask again the third time disregarding my declination then that's when i become aggitated. What part of no, I will not be available do they understand?

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Pathfinder
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Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:31 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
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Re: When someone doesn't understand the meaning behind a simple "no"

Postby Pathfinder » Fri Sep 29, 2017 12:23 pm

It's not that people don't understand the meaning of no, it's that they don't want to accept it. Perhaps they feel hurt by your refusal. I might point out that there are lot of things in life worse than having somebody who really wants to talk to you. Many would consider you fortunate.

I think most Introverts probably suffer from this same annoyance. My inclination is to say no more often than not. The problem with that is that if you say no enough times, people stop trying to befriend you. Eventually you'll wonder why nobody wants to talk to you (when you're ready) and like me you'll eventually figure out it's because you've spend all your time pushing people away.

Just my two cents...

CCmakes3
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Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 11:00 pm

Re: When someone doesn't understand the meaning behind a simple "no"

Postby CCmakes3 » Sun Oct 01, 2017 12:54 am

I think a lot of misguided extroverts think they need to save "the poor introvert" from him or herself. They think we desperately want to be social but don't know how, or that we just don't know what's good for us. It drives them crazy. They see us as a "project" and want to get credit for "helping" us enjoy ourselves.


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