I,m all alone, is that normal?!

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
masoud
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby masoud » Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:59 am

Hi,
My name is Masoud and I,m a translator.
I have practically no friends!
Is that normal?

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SandWshooter
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:10 pm

"Normal" doesn't really matter; as long as you're happy/satisfied with your situation, don't worry about it too much. Putting a ton of effort into being normal leads only to madness
Hi, mac!

masoud
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby masoud » Sat May 03, 2014 8:16 am

Thanx SandWshooter! I have just lately discovered all these years I thought I'm wierd (!) is just beacause Im an introvert. that's why I could not sit in a group and have worthless cheap discussions.
Any way I'm not completely satisfied I want to have some friends like me. That's why I came here to learn about people of this site opinions and experiences.
I WILL REALLY APPRECIATE ANYONE'S REPLY AND OPPINION SHARE ABOUT THIS SUBJECT.
THANK YOU

Snowcrow
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby Snowcrow » Mon May 05, 2014 10:50 pm

As mentioned by SandWshooter, it's ok to be different. Find your own path in life.
And welcome to the forum by the way :D

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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby SandWshooter » Mon May 05, 2014 10:53 pm

Snowcrow wrote:As mentioned by SandWshooter, it's ok to be different. Find your own path in life.
And welcome to the forum by the way :D


Yup

Be different, and if you need to talk to folks, you at least have us
Hi, mac!

tongue35
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby tongue35 » Tue May 13, 2014 3:56 pm

well im alone 98% of the time and no it is not normal but it is who i am..do i feel my introversion sometimes dips into the 'disorder' territory, Yes i do tbh...like sandshooter said, trying to fit yourself into the mold of a normal person can be maddening and very uncomfortable so just be who you are..

masoud-how old are you?if you are in teens or 20s, i suggest trying to develop a few friendships, see how it goes..

Justice
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby Justice » Tue May 13, 2014 3:59 pm

tongue35 wrote:if you are in teens or 20s, i suggest trying to develop a few friendships, see how it goes..


That's easier said than done :thinking: . I'm 24 and only have a few friendships. Which I got because they are extroverts and are easy to talk too. I don't have any close friends, because..well where do you find new friendships or longlife friendships?

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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby tongue35 » Wed May 14, 2014 12:45 am

That's easier said than done :thinking: . I'm 24 and only have a few friendships. Which I got because they are extroverts and are easy to talk too. I don't have any close friends, because..well where do you find new friendships or longlife friendships?[/quote]

trust me i know, ive been exactly where you are at but im also older and in mid 30s and please heed these words, it gets to be almost impossible to find and establish solid relationships/friendships at this age..everyone is established in their 30s in their social circle but in your teens and 20s, people are still eager to meet and find new people..what are your hobbies, what do you do for fun?

the only way i met new friends in my teens and 20s was through work and school and most of the time they were extroverted and approached me..id force myself out socially with them and then meet others and yes this was always usually with the help of alcohol..but yeah even then i still had a hard time maintaining these friendships due to my introverted nature..it was an uphill battle keeping up with phone-calls and social goings on etc etc..that is why many of these friendships dissolved and here i am..lol

tongue35
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby tongue35 » Wed May 14, 2014 12:46 am

Jutice-you said you have a few friends right now, well how about going with them out or play sports and meet their friends?

Justice
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby Justice » Wed May 14, 2014 7:18 pm

I have a few friends now, but they also have their own group of friends. Most of them are in a relationships and the moment that happens, the friendship changes. Not Always in a bad way, but it does change. And I'm not the right person to join them if they are doing something together. When we meet up, it's just with those few friends I already know, never with their friends. Most of my hobbies are things I can do at home. Only geocaching is something I do outside the house. I think I could meet others with that hobby, but then I would have to go to events they organise and going to that alone is pretty scary :p. So basiscally it's a circle I keep walking in. Most of my life exists in work and hanging around the house (in the house :P), so I don't have a place where I can meet others. Most of the few friends I have are already in a relationship so they have there own lifes.
I did have a period when I joined others (who where sort of friends back then), but they were all extrovers and they were Always going out in weekends and stuff. I joined them back then, but I was exhausted all weekend because of that. I needed my weekend to get energy for the rest of the week. I found it awful if they planned another night where I couldn't do what I wanted to do. So it sort of faded away. And now I only have friends I see maybe 1 or 2 a month. I would like to have more friends, but I can't get the energy to maintain those friendships. Especially when they don't really understand who I am and why I am like I am.

tongue35
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby tongue35 » Thu May 15, 2014 3:06 pm

justice-you are too similar to me..when i look at things, i realize 90% of the things i enjoy are solitary pursuits, like podcasts, working out, reading, taking my dog for a hike..i do enjoy playing softball or board games with others but as we all know, there is much more to maintaining a friendship than getting together on the rare occasion and playig a game with them..most extros are going to demand much more social interaction, going out to lunch or just hanging out which i do not like as it is very draining...they will want much more attention and social time that we are willing or able to give..i have run into this scenario too many times in my life and i have no answer..the extro friend invites me out on many occasions only to be turned down the majority so they move on to other people..then i meet someone else, same thing happens..

its to the point where i dont know how truly introverted people maintain friendships, i really dont..like you, i have 1-2 casual friendships and that really seems to be about the most my 'social energy' level can handle..

hopefully someone else can shed some better advice :)

tongue35
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I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby tongue35 » Thu May 15, 2014 3:19 pm

yes, the biggest obstacle for an introvert is the 'getting to know' someone part, the social aspect as it is usually very draining for us, not enjoyable..then, after that you have to maintain the friendship by doing things with these people which usually involves more socializing and hanging out with others..the key is finding like-minded introverts that have a very small social circle that rarely want to go out, ever!good luck with that..

Mydude12
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Re: I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby Mydude12 » Fri May 26, 2017 12:18 am

Honestly, I don't think being alone is "normal" persay, but I think that seclusion leads to a more meaningful life. I work with a large group of people, but I keep to myself, I believe that these people are mostly concerned with sex, alcohol, and "good times" but I really don't think that those things are the key to happiness and meaning. I think the "weird" people, or the people that don't seem "normal" according to society are the people I want to be around. I take pride in being a bit different, and I think you should too my friend! It's almost as if most people are in this blizzard of societal norms and issues, but people like us are in this bubble and we can see clearly through the storm. Things like the love race and all that jazz seem almost inconsequential to us I think. What's the big picture? How can we become better and more virtuous? How can we improve the world? How can we make a difference? Maybe I am wrong, but I think these are factors of separation for people like us! What do you think?

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Re: I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby SandWshooter » Tue Jun 06, 2017 4:57 am

It's all subjective, dude
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bunnysmom25
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Re: I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby bunnysmom25 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:04 pm

tongue35 wrote:That's easier said than done :thinking: . I'm 24 and only have a few friendships. Which I got because they are extroverts and are easy to talk too. I don't have any close friends, because..well where do you find new friendships or longlife friendships?


trust me i know, ive been exactly where you are at but im also older and in mid 30s and please heed these words, it gets to be almost impossible to find and establish solid relationships/friendships at this age..everyone is established in their 30s in their social circle but in your teens and 20s, people are still eager to meet and find new people..what are your hobbies, what do you do for fun?

the only way i met new friends in my teens and 20s was through work and school and most of the time they were extroverted and approached me..id force myself out socially with them and then meet others and yes this was always usually with the help of alcohol..but yeah even then i still had a hard time maintaining these friendships due to my introverted nature..it was an uphill battle keeping up with phone-calls and social goings on etc etc..that is why many of these friendships dissolved and here i am..lol[/quote]


THIS is exactly how I feel, I worry I dissolve too many friendships. But i feel like i am my own worst enemy cause i want good friend ships!!!

Aglover45
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Re: I,m all alone, is that normal?!

Postby Aglover45 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 1:54 am

I feel the same way. I've realized that the only actual friend I've ever had is my brother. Other people are just people I talk to at work or school. I never hang with anybody. Is it normal? not sure, but it's my normal, and I guess I'm doing alright with it. Though there are times where I'm sitting at home by myself thinking "how'd I get like this?" I'll admit it makes me a little bitter.

But it's important to be yourself. As long as you're not dysfunctional, just live life the way you live it. That's my advice


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