Is it ok that I don't want to go out on the weekend?

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Is it ok that I don't want to go out on the weekend?

Postby CCmakes3 » Sat Sep 30, 2017 11:21 pm

I have a full-time job where I have to interact with lots of people daily, both children and adults, many of whom are very needy and reliant upon me. On the weekends, I really don't feel like going anywhere. I can easily keep busy with housework, laundry, exercise, my kids, books, pets, etc. The thought of getting ready and leaving the house on weekends does not appeal to me at all. Of course there are times where I have to, for family events or other obligations, but if I don't have to, I'm not going to create something to do just as an excuse to leave the house. This really bothers my husband (who is an extreme extrovert but doesn't have to deal with nearly as many people during the work week as I do). He works all week with people who are very much like him and agree with him on nearly everything, while I work with people who are very demanding, disgruntled and often distressed. My husband takes it personally that I don't want to go out with him and/or his friends, but I am so overstimulated from my work week that I feel I need the whole weekend to re-charge. I can see that if I didn't work 40-50 hours a week, it would be a problem that I rarely want to leave the house apart from work, but I am out and about working (and making good money) 5 days a week. Is it unreasonable for me to expect to stay home on the weekends?

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Re: Is it ok that I don't want to go out on the weekend?

Postby Pathfinder » Wed Oct 04, 2017 2:34 pm

Of course it's okay CC! It's completely natural for many people. I've got to wonder though why, as an introvert, that you've taken on a job like yours? I can't imagine much worse than having a job that just drains the life out of you every day. I think if I were in your shoes for starters I'd be looking for a different line of work.

It's pretty clear to me that you are feeling very guilty about not living up to the expectations of others. Please, don't do that to yourself. I believe that the key to your freedom is to help other people understand who your truly are and why sometime you have to let them down.

As a point of interest, I spoke with an extrovert co-worker a year or so ago who approached me after he saw that I was reading this forum one day. He told me that his wife is an introvert and asked me a few questions, mostly I think to see how she and I compared. I could tell that he had taking some the time to learn about his wife's introversion which was great. He told me that she also didn't want to do a lot of things that involved going out. He admitted to me that it bothered him when I asked, but said he understood. That's the key in my opinion. We all have to constantly work at our relationships to keep them healthy and that includes both sides making concession for the other.

So just a thought. If you were to find a new job that wasn't as draining, perhaps you'd be more inclined to go out on the weekend every once and a while...

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