Just now discovered that I'm an introvert

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Hair
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2016 12:12 pm

Just now discovered that I'm an introvert

Postby Hair » Tue Sep 13, 2016 12:47 pm

My whole life I thought that something was wrong with me - that I was a freak compared to all "normal" people.
Always loved art, draw, paint sculpt, made good grades in school and college, love and worry about others (but don't really want to actually talk to them), a phone call is about like having a tooth pulled, cannot stand small talk nor just sitting somewhere for the sake of a get-together or party or whatever. I could be doing something worth while. I LOVE being alone. I'm a hermit to people I don't know, but I'm a blessing to those I hold close. People who know me love me and others can't understand why. I cannot stand to work on a project with anyone but myself. If a friend happens to show-up while I'm working, I will STOP the project completely in fear that he may offer to help. Many people I avoid confronting because I assume that they are like me and don't want to take-up their time etc. I identify with our cat because she always wants to be in the same room that we are in but she doesn't want anyone to interact with her - just being there is good enough. I totally get that cat. I have a best friend of 25 years - sometimes we'll drive for an hour or so - I'll hardly speak a word and he'll just be quiet or ramble himself while I just sit and listen, unless I actually have something to talk about- he gets me. My wife is the same - she gets me too.

I have gone thru life exhausted because I constantly ACT like I'm normal around others in an attempt to fit in. I engage in small talk even though I hate it, go to parties, go out of my way to be sociable, act like I care about the stupid insignificant things that others talk about etc. and at the end of the day I am completely worn out because I have been acting all day long. It's a rough life. Sometimes we go to social events and my wife will thank me when we get home because she knows the energy that I have put into the "acting" that I have done around her friends and others.

Anyway, I've been accused of being a "loaner" many times in life but the other day someone told me that I was "such an invert". I'd never heard of such. Googled it and youtubed it and lo and behold what a revelation!! Its like those people knew all of my secrets!! I'm an invert!! After 43 years I have just now discovered that I do not have mental issues... I'm just an invert. There are other people just like me! I feel so relieved!

Now I've found this forum where I guess you guys are all "freaks of nature" like me. So Hello guys!

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Pathfinder
Posts: 70
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:31 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: Just now discovered that I'm an introvert

Postby Pathfinder » Wed Oct 26, 2016 5:09 am

:welcome: Hey welcome to the forum. It wasn't until I was 52 that I discovered what being Introverted was and that there wasn't something wrong with me. What a relief that was, I felt like a new person after that. Since then I've discovered, with the help of some people here, that I'm more of an ambivert (having characteristics of both innies and extros). So what that means for me is that I do enjoy going to parties and concerts etc and some socializing but my tolerance for it is limited to about 3 hours max ... unless I get into a really interesting conversation with somebody. Then I will stay as long as the conversation holds out. Small talk irritates me and I definitely suck at trying to keep a superficial conversation going. As far as the parties go though I feel more comfortable with a small group of people where others are leading the conversation and I can interject when appropriate.

samalyzer
New Member
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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:16 am

Re: Just now discovered that I'm an introvert

Postby samalyzer » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:36 am

You REALLY need to read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. It'll not only tell you exactly what you are, but why you're that way, and what to do if you need coping mechanisms to help you deal with others. I"ve known I'm an introvert all my adult life, and have never worried about it. But this book has told me things about myself that are very comforting, and reveraling.

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Pathfinder
Posts: 70
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:31 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: Just now discovered that I'm an introvert

Postby Pathfinder » Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:20 pm

Ditto on the samalyzer. That's a great book! I couldn't believe how much of my being it accurately described. Afterwards I gave it to my wife to read so that she can understand me better...


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