Stuck in a Rut

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DC1346
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Stuck in a Rut

Postby DC1346 » Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:35 pm

So here I am at home, a teacher on summer vacation.

It's been a glorious break. I have a 2nd refrigerator and a full sized freezer in the garage, so to avoid having to interact with anyone, I've been grocery shopping every other week at 1 AM and have checked out using the self checking aisle.

I've turned off my cell phone and since I live in a gated community, the only visitors I get are delivery people dropping off online purchases ... and they always leave my deliveries outside my front door in a private courtyard, so I don' t have to talk to them.

I've really enjoyed my downtime and have used it to finish unpacking since I bought my home and moved in last May. I've binge watched a lot of television programs like Justified, Newsroom, and Scandal. I produced and uploaded to YouTube six talking cat videos under the series title, Bobby Cat and Friends. I've also written a 38,000 word children's novel about my cats, told from the perspective of the alpha cat, Bob (so named because he's a Manx mix kitty with a bob-tail). I have sent a copy of my manuscript to a literary agent for publishing consideration.

I have to report back to work on August 17th ... and I don't want to go back to work.

I like hanging out with my cats. I've started work on a sequel novel. I read books, take naps, and binge watch TV programs. I especially like the minimal contact I've had with people.

Going back into the world will force me to again role play being a chef instructor. I'll have to interact with people. I'll have to multi-task as I get slammed with work responsibilities ... lesson plans ... professional self improvement plans ... setting up my kitchen and classroom for the coming year ... running off materials needed for that first week ... reviewing budgetary accounts for the coming year ... attending out of town district workshops ... setting up my online grade book ... setting up credit accounts with vendors ... submitting initial resupply orders etc.

(sigh)

Truth be told ... if I can sell that novel and if I thought I could make a living writing, I'd quit my job in a heartbeat ... but realistically, I'm a few years away from doing this.

First things first, I have to sell that novel and see if it becomes a best seller and if it does, I have to publish another book just to confirm that I have the ability to do so and that my first publication wasn't just a stroke of luck.

In the meanwhile, I have errands I need to run like getting the tires of my car rotated and getting the oil changed but I'm so deep into being a reclusive introvert that I'm finding excuses to put off doing this.

I also need to check my work email account which I haven't looked at since I went on vacation in early June.

My principal may want me to cater lunch for new staff as I did last summer ... but unless I check my email, I won't know if she wants me to do this ... and I'm having problems motivating myself to check my email because I'm thoroughly enjoying my self imposed isolation.

I realize that for me, re-entering the world will have to be like jumping into a swimming pool. No one likes that first plunge. The water may be too cold and the shock may cause your entire body to shiver but once you're in and the shivering is over, things will get better.

I have to motivate myself to jump back into life ... and I just don't feel like doing it.

I go through this EVERY YEAR but for some reason, this year seems to be more challenging than last year. I'm not sure why.

It's not that I hate my job because I'm really good at what I do. It's not that I won't enjoy seeing my students, especially those who are returning for a 2nd and 3rd year with me. I like my students and take pleasure over their accomplishments in the kitchen.

It's just that I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't feel like interacting with anyone (outside of chat boards like this which provide some degree of separation from the stress of person to person contact). I like my seclusion and my isolation and I'm reluctant to give it up.

Sorry to vent ...

David

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Daisy
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Postby Daisy » Wed Jul 27, 2016 7:44 pm

David, You're a very good writer, Have faith and confidence in your books getting published.

You're rut is self imposed, and you are content, so it doesn't seem to be a problem.

greenanole
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Postby greenanole » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:03 pm

David,

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I'm a third-grade teacher. I've LOVED having the summer off, and I'm not excited about going back. I'm working on developing a blog (http://ispeakpeople.com/) so that I can eventually work from home.

I really like helping people, but I need a ton more time to myself. Right now, my teaching job is supporting my family and enabling me to transition to a business: I eventually want to write blog posts and books, publish podcasts, sell courses, mentor, and coach. That'll give me a lot more time to work by myself, reading and writing.

I'm going to use my frustration with being "on" all day long to motivate myself to work on my business when I'm not at school. Right now, I'm trying to get up at 3 or 4 a.m. to work on the blog for a couple of hours before I get to work. I'll happily do this as long as it takes, as long as I can eventually work from home.

Keep up the great work writing! You can do it!

Bo

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DC1346
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Postby DC1346 » Fri Aug 05, 2016 7:06 pm

greenanole wrote:David,

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I'm a third-grade teacher. I've LOVED having the summer off, and I'm not excited about going back. I'm working on developing a blog (http://ispeakpeople.com/) so that I can eventually work from home.

Bo


Thanks for your reply. I was a 3rd grade teacher at American schools in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon for 8 years. I also taught 4th grade for 7 years and 5th grade for 2 years ... so 17 years total.

After burning out, I went to culinary school and after working in the hospitality and food service industry for 4 years, I returned to education, this time as a chef instructor.

I visited your website. Is this a self help site? Out of curiosity, how do you envision using a blog to work at home?

I'm still waiting to hear from a literary agent. If worse comes to worse, I could publish my book via Amazon. There are a handful of successful children's authors who got their start through self publishing. John Erickson (Hank the Cowdog series) was one such author. I figure I could eventually tie the book into my Bobby Cat and Friends talking cat videos series on YouTube.

I'm feeling better about returning to work. I spent part of last week revamping 1st week activities and I totally rewrote my curriculum for level II Culinary students. Doing all of this stuff helped me focus on the idea of returning to work.

As luck would have it, I contacted my building administrator to see if she wanted me to cater lunch for new hires. She thanked me but said no and surprise-surprise, our school calendar was changed, so I don't start work until the 24th of August. Last year we reported to work a week earlier so woo-hoo ... I have over 2 weeks left of summer vacation!

David


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