The age at which you start losing friends

Post here for any topics about introversion in general.
User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Orientalist » Tue May 24, 2016 3:36 am

I don't know whether this is good or bad news for introverts, but studies show that we make more and more friends until the age of 25 and then the numbers start falling rapidly throughout our life.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scien ... 43796.html

I don't think it applied to me, really, because while in my late teens and early 20s I was clubbing and had girlfriends, I didn't make new friends. Then moving to another city and later another country made it even more difficult to make friends. But later in life, when I stayed in one place and found like-minded people, I actually started to make new friends.

Supposedly I should have had about 19 friends at age 25 and that would drop to 6 when I am 80. But right now I have around 8, and that's a lot for me.

I think the study reflects the fact that we tend to be more social when young, less so when older, but the opportunities for meeting like-minded people online are quite good these days.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

User avatar
SandWshooter
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 530
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:09 pm
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby SandWshooter » Tue May 31, 2016 2:59 am

Shit, son, I only have like 3 IRL friends as it is
Hi, mac!

Engage
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 9:35 pm

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Engage » Tue May 31, 2016 3:04 pm

I wouldn't necessarily fit into the parameters you describe, since at 26-27 years of age I made about 4-5 good friends.

I'd guess that at around the time your friends start getting married and having kids is when you start losing friends. They no longer have time for hangouts and parties.

brian189
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:49 pm

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby brian189 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 7:50 pm

I started having fewer friends around the age of 40. When I realized 2 things:

1. I changed my definition of the word "friend".
2. I realized I was an introvert and it was OK to be one.

Silverneurotic
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:25 pm

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Silverneurotic » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:59 am

I never had a lot of friends, but I'm okay with that. Right now I have one best friend and some more casual friends I made through my husband in the last 4 years since I moved to the area. My only regret is that my best friend (10 plus years) lives in a different state and we usually only see each other once a year.

User avatar
Imagiton
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:40 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Imagiton » Fri Aug 19, 2016 11:56 am

I'm at the age of 24 and me (and my friends) are noticing this. Our previously stable, extended friendship group is splitting off, tensions arising left, right and centre. It doesn't worry me, because it seems that we're all redefining our value systems. Some of my friends are closed minded and judgemental. This is the last thing I need around me, my social anxiety is already telling me that people are judging me. So really, I'm better off cutting contact with these people and focusing my limited social energies only on those who make me feel valued. I could argue that this also happened to me at 21, and I think it will be a continuing process as life experiences change my value systems further.

Like brian189, I've redefined "friend" and I'm actually happier for it. Or will be, once my birthday outing to London that I've been planning all year is done with. Unfortunately, I've invited a few people who are splitting off to a show in November. It's all been paid for and there isn't a way to uninvite people. The plan is to remain civil so that I can have a drama free evening, with lines of communication open beforehand, then slowly fade away.

introvert1993
New Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby introvert1993 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:10 pm

At 24, I don't have real friends and family to talk to. I am living independently and I am not in good terms with them. I probably won't be seeing them again. I don't have friends because I am very afraid that they will just betray me, as what I have experienced in the past. I am not also comfortable being with people I know on a superficial level.

User avatar
Daisy
Senior Member
Posts: 297
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:14 am
MBTI code: ISFP
Gender: Female

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Daisy » Tue Aug 23, 2016 12:07 am

Welcome introvert1993. :)

Qewbahtiar
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 11:36 am
Gender: Male

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Qewbahtiar » Sun Mar 26, 2017 4:36 pm

Hello there,

I start losing friends since 2015, after my mother passed away. That losing one by one friend, after im avoiding from humans being loner much better until now . Im selected friends that suitable with me,

User avatar
Pathfinder
Posts: 70
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:31 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Pathfinder » Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:07 pm

Great post on this topic, one of which I think about quite regularly. I believe as one person mention that the internet has changed things a lot but having said that, as introverts are we seeking new friends by any available means regularly?

I hung out with a large number of people (more acquaintances than friends) up until my mid-thirties. The number though did and has continued to decline steadily ever since. I attribute that mostly to the marriage and kid thing. My wife and I have moved several times in the last ten years so that's made it difficult to make new friends. I've met some new snowmobiling, ATVing and canoeing friends through the internet and by chance meetings over the years. As far as the any other friends I have, I'll be the first to admit that it's been largely through their efforts that we are friends. One such person complained to me yesterday that "he's always calling me" and that "I don't call him". I'm actually pretty bad that way so I guess he has reason to feel P.O'd. I usually don't call anyone unless there's a specific reason that would require me to contact them before the next time they'd phone me.

I'm probably older than most people on this forum so yeah I can confirm that the declining friends syndrome affects most people as they age. It's much easier to meet people when you're young, in school, and have the time to party etc. "Life gets in the way" as they say...

4Far2Go
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:17 am

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby 4Far2Go » Wed Oct 04, 2017 2:00 pm

I agree with Pathfinder about marriage having an effect on the # of friends. For me, my work situation has
made this worse or better as well. For the past 38 years I worked alone with only a handful of accounts, who I liked mostly, but nothing in common to form a friendship. Then 3 years ago my wife passed and I got together with some old friends and I found out I really have nothing in common with them either. As teenagers and young adults I did, but not any longer. Would love to find one good friend, preferably of the opposite sex. Anyone interested? Late 60's male here, fairly fit and we all like to think of ourselves as yong for our age ... me included.

I believe this is my first post here but a member for a while. Hope I didn't break any protocol about posting without an introduction etc. Think this may be the place for me. We'll see.

User avatar
Pathfinder
Posts: 70
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:31 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: The age at which you start losing friends

Postby Pathfinder » Wed Oct 04, 2017 3:37 pm

4Far2Go reminded me that I forgot to mention earlier that I found it necessary over the years to "prune" a few former friends from my (tiny I'll admit) friend tree. Nothing in common anymore as he mentioned. Additionally there were also a few people who would just come to me for advice or help with something then exit stage right after they got what they needed. They offered nothing as far as friendship goes so snip... snip... lol.


Return to “Introversion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest