Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

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Curious
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Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 6:26 pm

Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

Postby Curious » Wed May 04, 2016 7:08 pm

Hello Everyone,

I really would love any advice or suggestions you can give to help me more understand an Introvert. I have read tons of topics, but it does not compare to talking to an actual Introvert. I met my Introvert on Tinder. Although we were both clearly interested in each other, I was the one who initiated the conversation. He was sweet and sincere in his responses. He told me immediately that he was an Introvert. I wasn't too sure of exactly what that meant in depth, only that he was reserved and quite. I am kind of BOTH. I am naturally sociable, but I absolutely love being a homebody and rarely if ever go out. We have never dated the other's race before(not that is an issue) but I kind of think that is a little intimidating for him. (I'm Black/He's White). He has never been verbally expressive and texts every blue moon. I don't mind that at all and gives him plenty of space.(sometimes weeks before I initiate a text). We have seen each other(at his place) and been intimate 2X. Just chill watching TV. Both one-on-one interactions he is completely affectionate and attentive. He is extremely Touchy-Feely and is constantly complementing me. He doesn't talk very much so I am the one blabbing most of the time. Not sure again if that's his Introversion or ME or Both. But I try and keep it light and on basic things. The last time we were intimate, before I left he told me he had a Vivid/Sexual dream about me(basically an reenactment), no kind of noticeable emotions about what he's thinking or how he feels. But when I leave besides a kiss and caress on my arms, again time kind of stands still. Once again during this time I try and research whatever I can about Introverts to get some kind of insight because I we have not had the INTROVERT talk. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way or make him feel like he's on the spot to be verbally expressive. However, I genuinely want to understand how he feels/think and also assure him that he can be himself knowing that I understand and won't feel offended. Now I know you can't tell me what he's thinking, but I want to know in general a Introverts thought pattern.

1). When you are intimate with someone, do you fantasize about that person more, or think about the ACT over and over therefore you may need more of a Recharge time away (from that person epsc if you really like them)before you see them again?

2). How do I bring up the Introversion conversation in a way that I do not make him feel like I playing games or trying to pick at him?

3). Because he does not initiate communication, is 2-3 weeks a reasonable amount of time in between me reaching out to him? Sometimes I feel like maybe I should give it longer, but I don't want him to think I've lost interest.

4). Or should I stop initiating the communications all together and let him reach out? How long can an Introvert go without communicating with someone if that person do not reach out first?


Thank you so much!!!

P.S. I think I left my Passion Fruit lipgloss at his place the last time I was there. I'm pretty sure I did, it was late place I had it. He's too sweet/nice to throw it away. Would he keep it and not tell me to have something to remember me by? LOL! Thought I'd ask.....

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Orientalist
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MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

Postby Orientalist » Thu May 05, 2016 2:37 am

Hi Curious.

Introverts aren't all the same, of course, but I think while most of us don't like social interaction, we are comfortable with a few people we know well - as long as they are not chatterboxes. And while we enjoy not having to deal with other people, we do get lonely if we don't have anyone to talk to.

1) This never happened to me. Introverts probably daydream/fantasize more than others, but fantasizing about sex is for when you aren't getting the real thing, not a method of recharging.

2) This is a difficult one. He may well think you are criticizing him. I don't really know.

3) It seems to me that he is the one that is lacking interest. Him not contacting you for weeks is just ridiculous! I'm assuming you are in your 20s? When I was that age and had a girlfriend, I wanted to meet up with her all the time. I wanted to be with her, and of course I wanted to have sex. If someone didn't contact me for 3 weeks, I'd take the hint and move on.

4) Yes, I think so. My reading of this situation (and I could be wrong) is that he likes you, but he doesn't think you are The One. If he leaves it up to you to contact him every 3-4 weeks, the relationship is not going to work out in the long run.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I just can't relate this guy's behaviour to my own experiences and feelings. Anyway, let's see what the ladies in the forum say.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

Curious
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 6:26 pm

Re: Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

Postby Curious » Thu May 05, 2016 11:34 am

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help and advice

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Daisy
Senior Member
Posts: 297
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:14 am
MBTI code: ISFP
Gender: Female

Re: Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

Postby Daisy » Thu May 05, 2016 6:34 pm

Welcome Curious, That's a user name I use elsewhere, anyway sorry I don't know how men think.

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LilTampa
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Re: Curious about how to Relate/Understand My Introvert

Postby LilTampa » Thu May 05, 2016 7:57 pm

2-3 weeks seems like an awfully long time to not hear from someone. My fella and I are both introverts and we met online as well. It took us a few weeks to be comfortable meeting in person but prior to that we talked/messaged every few days. It only took a couple dates a week before were an item. Even if we didn't have long conversations every day I almost always got an "I'm thinking about you" text. Introvert or not I would be totally suspicious of him. Sorry to be blunt. I hope it works out for you or that you find someone that makes you happy. Best of luck!


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