Stuck at home

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LilTampa
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Stuck at home

Postby LilTampa » Sun May 01, 2016 11:57 pm

Normally I'm totally cool being stuck at home. Not this time. I had surgery in early March (I had to have a large noncancerous tumor removed from my leg). I've had some complications and so I had to have a second surgery and a couple of in office revisions. Long story short I have had to be off my feet as much as possible for almost 2 months. 2 MONTHS!!! The biggest benefit of this is that I realized I need to get a new mattress.

I am a process flow business consultant so I have been able to do some work but I've had to turn down a few contracts and I haven't been able to make as much progress as I would like on other contracts. Not really a huge deal as far as money goes but my work represents the majority of social interaction I have. I'm able to put on the mask of a professional and interact with folks as an intelligent, confidant, creative and strong person. A huge part of my work is observing how businesses operate and conducting interviews with employees. Then I make procedural suggestions or write new process flow or manuals or whatever the business needs to increase productivity and reduce waste. I know work isn't really socializing but it provides a form of socialization where I can hide my insecurities and fears behind my professional mask, partly because I am always a visitor and observer and I am in control of the situation. Like any mentor, professor or teacher, I am treated and approached with respect. I'm viewed as an "expert" so I encounter very little conflict and because my role with the business is temporary most of the people I meet take me at face value and consider me something of an outsider.

Being respected and treated as an expert is absolutely fantastic for my ego. Although I have to interact with a ton of people, my work actually gives me energy and a sense of value. I guess I'm addicted to that feeling because since I haven't been able to do much work I feel empty. I'm feeling alone and purposeless. I'm also legit not feeling well physically but the emotional stuff is worse for me. Annnnnnnnd I can't go the gym or yoga. I usually go quite a bit so I'm sure I withdrawing from delicious endorphin. Worst of all I'm bored. So very very very bored. I'm not so much into watching tv so I have watched more crap than I have watched in years. I do read a ton and I paint. I'm at the point where I'm bored reading and I can only sketch out ideas since I can't be on my feet for long enough to paint. I actually have an unfinished 6' x 4' painting in the other room that is taunting me. Having this much "alone" time is giving me way too much time to scrutinize every aspect of my life, past, present and future. Urg.

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Daisy
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Re: Stuck at home

Postby Daisy » Mon May 02, 2016 4:21 am

Hi LilTampa, First of all I wish a speedy recovery for you. You haven't asked for advice, but do you have someone to invite over to keep you company? You are very fortunate to have a job that you actually miss.

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LilTampa
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Re: Stuck at home

Postby LilTampa » Mon May 02, 2016 5:46 pm

My boyfriend lives with me but he doesn't count. Lol!

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SandWshooter
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Re: Stuck at home

Postby SandWshooter » Mon May 02, 2016 6:59 pm

I got stuck at home for like 7 months once, it was terrible
Hi, mac!


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