Alone time

Post here for any topics about introversion in general.
User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Alone time

Postby Annie » Sat Apr 16, 2016 10:41 am

:happy:

I'm sitting in a cafe alone and it feels so good to have peace. I'm not the only one sitting by themselves either!

I'm pretty sure this hot chocolate tastes better because I'm being left alone!

1460805150509-1691937723.jpg


On my way home now. I used to live in this city and love the river.

How do you all recharge?
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
Daisy
Senior Member
Posts: 297
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:14 am
MBTI code: ISFP
Gender: Female

Re: Alone time

Postby Daisy » Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:22 am

I cherish every minute that I'm alone anywhere. It's rare that I have to recharge as I always avoid being in crowds

I like your photo of the river, I find being near water is peaceful.

User avatar
Tsuki
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed May 21, 2014 11:57 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female

Re: Alone time

Postby Tsuki » Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:06 am

I'm sort of the same as Daisy, I don't usually need to recharge as of late, but when I do I usually just go to my room and stay there for a good amount of hours on my own, indulging on my hobbies and such.

Though I still have yet to come to terms with going out alone by myself! It really feels weird in a way but it also feels amazing with all the freedom you have for yourself, you can go and do whatever you want really, I ought to do that more.

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:33 pm

Daisy wrote:I cherish every minute that I'm alone anywhere. It's rare that I have to recharge as I always avoid being in crowds


I am finding it really hard to recharge at the moment as I can't relax :(
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:34 pm

Tsuki wrote:I'm sort of the same as Daisy, I don't usually need to recharge as of late, but when I do I usually just go to my room and stay there for a good amount of hours on my own, indulging on my hobbies and such.

Though I still have yet to come to terms with going out alone by myself! It really feels weird in a way but it also feels amazing with all the freedom you have for yourself, you can go and do whatever you want really, I ought to do that more.


It gets a lot easier and just feels normal after a while!
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Sun Apr 24, 2016 6:12 am

I recently spent a weekend at the girlfriend's house, together with various relatives and a 3-year-old granddaughter who ended up in bed with us the second night. It sure feels good to be back in my condo - alone. I like recharging in the park, too.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:32 pm

Orientalist wrote:I recently spent a weekend at the girlfriend's house, together with various relatives and a 3-year-old granddaughter who ended up in bed with us the second night. It sure feels good to be back in my condo - alone. I like recharging in the park, too.


I couldn't cope with a kid joining me in bed :lol:
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
SandWshooter
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 527
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:09 pm
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:33 pm

I've been spending a ton of time alone lately, maybe too much
Hi, mac!

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Thu Apr 28, 2016 9:50 pm

SandWshooter wrote:I've been spending a ton of time alone lately, maybe too much


At what point is it too much?
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby ZaHEER » Sat Apr 30, 2016 10:35 pm

Annie.. let me take you out sometime

User avatar
SandWshooter
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 527
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:09 pm
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby SandWshooter » Mon May 02, 2016 7:08 pm

Annie wrote:
SandWshooter wrote:I've been spending a ton of time alone lately, maybe too much


At what point is it too much?


I think that depends on the person and the circumstances
Hi, mac!

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Mon May 02, 2016 8:46 pm

ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby ZaHEER » Tue May 03, 2016 1:34 pm

Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?


You don't want to ?

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Tue May 03, 2016 1:58 pm

Annie wrote:
Orientalist wrote:I recently spent a weekend at the girlfriend's house, together with various relatives and a 3-year-old granddaughter who ended up in bed with us the second night. It sure feels good to be back in my condo - alone. I like recharging in the park, too.


I couldn't cope with a kid joining me in bed :lol:


Just spent another 2 nights there. It went something like this... Kid refuses to sleep with mom. Comes and plays in our room until she falls asleep. We then take her to mom's room. In the morning I am alone in the bedroom and mom sends the kid in. She stands at the foot of the bed crying and looking at me out of the corner of her eye. Lol. Spent the day on a trip with four families. Second night, kid refuses to go to sleep so mom brings her to our room. Eventually, she falls asleep over the iPad and we take her to mom's room. Mom's boyfriend arrives around midnight, but wakes the kid when he leaves at 5am. Back she comes to our room and sleeps in our bed.

I told the girlfriend this isn't working for me... :violin:
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

User avatar
LilTampa
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:11 am
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby LilTampa » Tue May 03, 2016 4:53 pm

Try to be open and honest about your needs emotionally and physically. Establish boundaries. Worst case scenario, let her know you won't be able to join her on the visits. Or offer to stay nearby at a hotel. With 4 families around I would need time to recharge. It seems like the granddaughter is preventing you from getting that time. I'm sure that just adds fuel to the fire. My family is enormous, my mom has 8 siblings and I have 20 something first cousins and more after that so we are 50+ people at the word go. Even though I'm related to all of them and I love them all dearly, family events still drain me. My heart goes out to ya.

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Tue May 03, 2016 10:16 pm

ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?


You don't want to ?


I'm pretty sure my partner would love me to go out with a random guy from the internet.
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby ZaHEER » Tue May 03, 2016 10:19 pm

Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?


You don't want to ?


I'm pretty sure my partner would love me to go out with a random guy from the internet.


Ok we will go after your breakup

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Wed May 04, 2016 4:56 am

LilTampa wrote:Try to be open and honest about your needs emotionally and physically. Establish boundaries. Worst case scenario, let her know you won't be able to join her on the visits. Or offer to stay nearby at a hotel. With 4 families around I would need time to recharge. It seems like the granddaughter is preventing you from getting that time. I'm sure that just adds fuel to the fire. My family is enormous, my mom has 8 siblings and I have 20 something first cousins and more after that so we are 50+ people at the word go. Even though I'm related to all of them and I love them all dearly, family events still drain me. My heart goes out to ya.


It's a lot more complicated than I've outlined here but if we are to spend the rest of our lives together we have to find a compromise, such as her spending half the week at my place and vice versa. I like her family (all four branches), so being around them isn't a problem. They are OK with me not joining in their small-talk. The first problem is there isn't much for me to do there. There isn't a nearby park, they have no cable TV and no computer. That can eventually be solved with money. The second problem is the granddaughter doesn't get quality time with mom, and dad is long gone, so she is very attached to her grandmother (my partner) and hangs around me looking for attention. But since she is only 3.5 years old she is mostly talking gobbledygook that no one can understand. Once she can really talk, I can read her stories and it might actually be interesting for me, but she is just starting kindergarten this month so I don't know when that will be. Frankly, it's annoying that her mom hasn't a clue and tends to keep the kid quiet by handing her the iPad to play moronic games or giving her a bucket of Coca Cola. All her top teeth are just brown stumps now, whereas they were perfect 18 months ago. I warned everyone about this a year ago but they don't see it as a problem. After all, "they are only milk teeth."

Anyway, the gf and I are off to Japan soon for 2 weeks, hopefully for some 'alone time together,' but I'm pretty sure the family problems will follow us via mobile phone. :idunno:
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

User avatar
LilTampa
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:11 am
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby LilTampa » Wed May 04, 2016 5:42 am

Yikes! I taught preschool (3-5 yr old) all through college. She would probably love to be read to. Any of that kind of personal interaction is fantastic for that age. It will help a ton with her language skills too. Kids are really great to socialize with! Not nearly as much intellectual investment as adults. When I was teaching I had better relationships with the kids than with their parents! In any case, I feel like parents today are just lazy and super selfish. It's so hard to watch. Have fun in Japan, I hear Tokyo is a really quiet and peaceful city.

User avatar
Annie
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:24 pm
MBTI code: INFJ
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby Annie » Wed May 04, 2016 7:18 pm

ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?


You don't want to ?


I'm pretty sure my partner would love me to go out with a random guy from the internet.


Ok we will go after your breakup


I'll ask him and see what he says ;)
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

User avatar
ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby ZaHEER » Wed May 04, 2016 7:28 pm

Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:
Annie wrote:
ZaHEER wrote:Annie.. let me take you out sometime


Why?


You don't want to ?


I'm pretty sure my partner would love me to go out with a random guy from the internet.


Ok we will go after your breakup


I'll ask him and see what he says ;)


You will ask someone ?! I thought you are a powerful lady.

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Thu May 05, 2016 1:46 am

LilTampa wrote:Yikes! I taught preschool (3-5 yr old) all through college. She would probably love to be read to. Any of that kind of personal interaction is fantastic for that age. It will help a ton with her language skills too. Kids are really great to socialize with! Not nearly as much intellectual investment as adults. When I was teaching I had better relationships with the kids than with their parents! In any case, I feel like parents today are just lazy and super selfish. It's so hard to watch. Have fun in Japan, I hear Tokyo is a really quiet and peaceful city.


I wonder if she'll be able to sit still and listen to a story after years of iPad games?

I don't mind the crowds in Japanese railway stations because I don't have to interact with them. But anyway we'll be out in the country most of the time.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

User avatar
LilTampa
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:11 am
Gender: Female
Contact:

Re: Alone time

Postby LilTampa » Thu May 05, 2016 3:45 pm

It may take a little time but she'll get into it and then that's all she'll want. iPad doesn't provide human interaction. It sounds like she's craving that more than anything else.

I've been dying to go to Japan forever. My bf was stationed in Okinawa in the marines and my first husband lived there for 7 years. Jerks. I would probably stay in the countryside most of the time too.

User avatar
Xsolrac
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 4:34 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Xsolrac » Tue May 31, 2016 4:32 am

I often look to be as much time alone as I can so I dont really end up needing some solid recharge time, but when I do however, I love to go to parks or forests (not so available in my city so whenever I go to one I make the most out of it.) or just hang out in my room.
Why does it has to be that way?

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Tue May 31, 2016 4:39 am

LilTampa wrote:It may take a little time but she'll get into it and then that's all she'll want. iPad doesn't provide human interaction. It sounds like she's craving that more than anything else.

I've been dying to go to Japan forever. My bf was stationed in Okinawa in the marines and my first husband lived there for 7 years. Jerks. I would probably stay in the countryside most of the time too.


Now she's at kindergarten she does seem to be getting a lot of human interaction, and I'm told her language skills are improving a lot. Frankly, she was indulged way too much by her family. I've seen her getting angry and hitting adults when she didn't get what she wanted - and they let her get away with it.

Japan is well worth a trip, but it's not cheap. I wish I'd gone when I was younger, but I couldn't afford it.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

Engage
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 9:35 pm

Re: Alone time

Postby Engage » Tue May 31, 2016 3:24 pm

I spend several hours in the basement of the group home where I live. I dedicate chunks of time talking to certain people who live with me in the house, conversations here and there. But ultimately I don't enjoy it as much as they do.

To be fair though, the only reason they talk so much is because they don't have a computer like I do. If it wasn't for my computer I'd probably be spending even more time with them.

Technology gives us a reason to be introverted I suppose.

mattbelly
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:31 am

Re: Alone time

Postby mattbelly » Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:07 pm

Annie wrote::happy:

I'm sitting in a cafe alone and it feels so good to have peace. I'm not the only one sitting by themselves either!

I'm pretty sure this hot chocolate tastes better because I'm being left alone!

1460805150509-1691937723.jpg


On my way home now. I used to live in this city and love the river.

How do you all recharge?


Wow! That sounds nice but definitely not for me. I would get bored within seconds and either go away or start looking around trying to talk to people. If I am at a place like that then it's because I'm looking forward to socialize.
I recharge at home, working on my hobbies... Or just browsing this forum for example.

Lynne
New Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:33 pm

Re: Alone time

Postby Lynne » Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:42 pm

Hi I'm new here. I'm Lynne.

I feel done today. Two difficult conversations. One wouldn't have been bad if I had not had the first. However, done with people today. Another hard conversation coming on Saturday.

Also. In ten days I have to stand before a large group of people and speak for 15 min.

This is all I can think about. It's weighting me down. Also have a sick uncle who might not make it. My thought is maybe I will need to go out of town on the day I'm suppose to speak. I know that's terrible. That's how much I dread it.

Hope I can rally to get it done.

Thanks for reading.

User avatar
ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby ZaHEER » Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:05 pm

Take a break from everything .. go out somewhere

Lynne wrote:Hi I'm new here. I'm Lynne.

I feel done today. Two difficult conversations. One wouldn't have been bad if I had not had the first. However, done with people today. Another hard conversation coming on Saturday.

Also. In ten days I have to stand before a large group of people and speak for 15 min.

This is all I can think about. It's weighting me down. Also have a sick uncle who might not make it. My thought is maybe I will need to go out of town on the day I'm suppose to speak. I know that's terrible. That's how much I dread it.

Hope I can rally to get it done.

Thanks for reading.

User avatar
Daisy
Senior Member
Posts: 297
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:14 am
MBTI code: ISFP
Gender: Female

Re: Alone time

Postby Daisy » Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:10 pm

Welcome Lynne,

I hope you can get out of having to have that talk.

User avatar
Xsolrac
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 4:34 am
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Xsolrac » Tue Aug 23, 2016 12:42 am

Recently for some reason there is a free, quick wifi connection in my residence area (a private area). Not only does it reaches my room which my house own wifi does not reach, but it is also avaible on the park nearby. For some other divine reason, the afternoons recently have been rather cool instead of the stupid hot that prevails all day long where I live, so I have been going out around 7 until 9 to the park to just work or chill on my computer while listening to music and I love it!
Why does it has to be that way?

User avatar
DC1346
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:32 am
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby DC1346 » Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:43 pm

Annie wrote:How do you all recharge?


Last May I bought a home in a gated community. I initially loved it because the seemingly endless solicitations from Mormon missionaries, Jehovah's Witnesses, satellite TV people, and home security installers abruptly ended. Since my home has a small private courtyard, I took pleasure in gardening ... until my neighbor across the street decided to befriend me. For a while he'd wave whenever he saw me and I always got a sinking feeling in my stomach when I saw him cross the street for yet another chat.

I stopped gardening and rearranged my garage so that I'd have sufficient space to park. I now refuse to answer the doorbell and pretend that I'm not home. In time, I hope he'll take the hint. I have previously told him that I'm a reclusive introvert. I also told him that I'm autistic. His reply was to suggest that I needed to "get out more". I found this comment to be incredibly condescending particularly since he's a former investment banker and has no medical background!

At home (when this overly friendly person isn't trying to initiate unwanted conversations, I enjoy puttering about in the kitchen. As a chef instructor, I enjoy cooking or baking and I seem to be most content (not happy since this is an emotion that I don't understand), when I'm in the kitchen. While in the kitchen, I like watching the news or binge watching a TV series through Amazon prime, Netflix, or Hulu.

When the weather drops below 3 digit temperatures, I plan to resume excavating my backyard so I may install a 5,000 gallon fresh water pond that will include fish and edible water plants.

I just wrote a 33,000 word children's book about my cats (told from the perspective of my cats). I'm currently selling this through Amazon though I'm also looking for a literary agent for representation to a traditional publishing company.

To support the book, I started a blog: http://www.BobbyCatandFriends.com. The blog links to 8 talking cat videos that I've produced and uploaded to YouTube.

Bottom line for me ... I like recharging in total isolation.

I just spent the entire summer vacation (2.5 months) in isolation and tomorrow I'm returning to my full time job as a chef instructor. (Sigh)

User avatar
Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Alone time

Postby Orientalist » Fri Sep 16, 2016 11:51 am

I've had a "Neighbour from Hell" too. The trouble was he was my landlady's boyfriend and the de facto manager of our condo, so I couldn't avoid him. I had to be almost rude to him in the end.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.


Return to “Introversion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest