What do you like to talk about at parties?

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tongue35
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What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby tongue35 » Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:31 am

This is a huge weakness for me..all of us are forced or feel obligated to attend birthday parties or other social gatherings..as we introverts already know, 90% of these conversations revolve around chit chat..topics like the weather, sports or work are what's talked about..I can endure about 30 minutes of this and then my brain starts falling asleep and I get drained quickly..last night I was at a bday party, the women were in the kitchen just rambling about what women ramble about..there were 4 of us guys in the living room and the conversation was painful..the topic was based around local unions and my attempts to change the convo failed..ughh

So what do you guys like to talk about at parties like this?i find it extremely difficult to find interesting topics to talk about with others..it's hard to click with them so this just ends up with avoiding these gatherings as much as I can in the future..

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Orientalist
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby Orientalist » Tue Feb 02, 2016 6:46 am

Right. I find that what interests me doesn't interest anyone else, and in any case when I'm half way through a sentence they'll simply change the subject or start talking to someone else. Sod 'em all, I say!

As an expat I have something in common with fellow expats, but too many of them just want to slag off their adopted country, and that's almost as bad as small talk.

Yesterday I went to a birthday party and amused myself by playing with a 3-year-old most of the time. But then when I had to leave, she wanted to come with me and started screaming... Lol.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

llw14
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby llw14 » Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:43 pm

I find it helps to have "localized" conversations, ie with one and only one other person at a time. In the situation with the four other guys, I'd typically be quiet and eventually one of them will notice and break off and try to engage you. You'll have an easier time steering the conversations to what you want with one person than with the four others all at once. Also use every opportunity to ask the host if they need help with anything...hopefully you can shovel the sidewalk lol, or man the bbq or whatever.

tongue35
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby tongue35 » Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:31 pm

llw14 wrote:I find it helps to have "localized" conversations, ie with one and only one other person at a time. In the situation with the four other guys, I'd typically be quiet and eventually one of them will notice and break off and try to engage you. You'll have an easier time steering the conversations to what you want with one person than with the four others all at once. Also use every opportunity to ask the host if they need help with anything...hopefully you can shovel the sidewalk lol, or man the bbq or whatever.


Lol at shoveling the sidewalk..I do usually ask the host if they need help..I just hate the "dead time" at parties..

tongue35
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby tongue35 » Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:33 pm

Orientalist wrote:Right. I find that what interests me doesn't interest anyone else, and in any case when I'm half way through a sentence they'll simply change the subject or start talking to someone else. Sod 'em all, I say!

As an expat I have something in common with fellow expats, but too many of them just want to slag off their adopted country, and that's almost as bad as small talk.

Yesterday I went to a birthday party and amused myself by playing with a 3-year-old most of the time. But then when I had to leave, she wanted to come with me and started screaming... Lol.


Absolutely I always try to engage the kids who are passing a football or playing a game..I always try to join in as this can actually stimulate me whereas just sitting around is verd for me

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supervillin
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby supervillin » Sun Feb 07, 2016 12:08 am

i third the vote on playing with the kids, or pets, i cant hold a conversation to save my life, but when it comes to playing at the park, flying a kite, water balloon fights, using the giant bubble want to make bubbles the size of cars, playing in the pool, tossing a football, playing basketball, building a snowman, those things i am a master at, haha, those are the skills you develop after 38 years of getting out of small talk, haha! kids LOVE me and i LOVE them for getting me out of small talk and making me feel valued, haha!

i wonder if introverts are better at communicating with children then extroverts, kids seem to be on almost a primal communication level, haha, something that requires less energy and has more meaning than small talk?

tongue35
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby tongue35 » Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:32 pm

Haha yep, I consider myself pretty good at getting out of small talk but sometimes u are just trapped there..usually I always try to get a nephew to play video games or go out and shoot hoops..kids usually always like me and honestly I find them more enjoyable to talk to than adults..

I'm not sure about introverts being better at communicating with kids but I'm honestly surprised at many extroverts lack of social skills and social awareness..they seem either not to notice or maybe they don't care when the person they are talking to isn't interested at all in what they are saying..they just keep talking as we slowly fall asleep standing up..

llw14
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby llw14 » Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:42 pm

I've noticed that as well. It seems like most people think that "social skills" only encompass the ability to talk for long periods. Social skills is about way more than just conversation skills.

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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby hermanhermit » Fri Feb 19, 2016 9:22 pm

I like having meaningful deep conversations. I don't really like how "small talk" tends to be a necessary step before that.
If I'm talking about something deep with someone, I could talk with them for hours. If it's small talk, I'd rather lock myself in a closet and be alone by myself.

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nicoclone
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby nicoclone » Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:35 am

Well, there is a reason that why we introvert people just dont like chit chat that is thrown by extrovert. The reason is that we introvert people just dont like to waste our previous time for some lowtier conversation but instead a deeper and more important conversation xD.. Maybe we introvert are even better than the m extrovert ones xD... because we are rare species of human and we are created to be unique, imaginative (i like to make a long story XD, caring for other even if we are just too shy to show our love xD, deeper level of brainstorming, more creative than your normal dude, more good at handling kids i guess (read from previous reply xD), intelligence being, maybe we are even more romantic than them extrovert xD but girls are just dont try to give a chance to introvert to dating them ROFTL, more passionate in doing things we like (like doing programming stuff in your room for almost half day xD, a real shut-in XD), and maybe more LOL
Wow, orientalist, i am suprised you are an expat. LOL ROFTL.. you get exiled from where country anyway?? Just curious xD

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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby lisbonlux » Mon Feb 29, 2016 1:07 am

I LOATHE small talk. I just had to spend 3 days with my husband's company's employees and spouses pretending to give a shit about what these people had to say.

My husband and I constantly found ourselves talking to each other or when we finally got a "victim" 5 seconds later we found someone that just interrupted the conversation and we were left looking like 2 idiots.

We were at this resort overseas and people were going to the beach in full make-up with big sun hats as though they were in a movie... I prefer to play with the dogs or talk to the children as well. Lately, any lengthy conversation is becoming too much for me.

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Annie
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby Annie » Sat Aug 13, 2016 5:58 pm

I don't go to parties so can't answer this.
I don't like seagulls...

Scottish INFJ

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DC1346
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Re: What do you like to talk about at parties?

Postby DC1346 » Mon Aug 15, 2016 1:59 am

tongue35 wrote:So what do you guys like to talk about at parties like this?i find it extremely difficult to find interesting topics to talk about with others..it's hard to click with them so this just ends up with avoiding these gatherings as much as I can in the future..


As a reclusive introvert, the only way I would ever attend a party would be if I was hosting it or if I was catering it.

Being autistic, I have a narrow field of interests that others regard as eccentric or possibly esoteric. I am interested in Napoleonic military history, ancient civilizations, creating and maintaining fresh water ponds, producing soap and candles that look and smell like real food, writing novels, creating, testing, and writing recipes, and publishing cookbooks. In my capacity as a chef instructor, I am of course interested in all things culinary. I also have cats and am always interested in talking about feline care.

Most guys seem to want to talk about sports which I regard as a major yawn-fest.

I do not watch reality TV, listen to contemporary music, and have found from hard experience that some people are way too invested in their political beliefs and tend to get very upset if these beliefs are challenged. (Eye roll)

I have no interest in fashion because I'm obsessive compulsive ... so all of my trousers are black chef's trousers and most of my clothes are geared towards kitchen wear. My "casual clothing" consists of identical school shirts from where I work or shirts that I wore at other schools.

Since I eschew relationships, I do not court women and do not date.

Since I lack the capacity to understand most types of humor, I do not joke ... or at least not intentionally. For reasons unknown, my department chair thinks that I have a sense of humor. I do not understand why he thinks this.


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