questions for introverts

Post here for any topics about introversion in general.
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supervillin
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questions for introverts

Postby supervillin » Thu Mar 12, 2015 10:52 pm

this forum has been a huge source of help as an introvert, and it is a wonderful place to FINALLY find people who i can relate to!

instead of opening a lot of different posts i thought i could post one topic covering a bunch of things i was curious about as an introvert. basic questions that ive been curious about regarding being introverted. if anyone would be interested i would greatly appreciate knowing your thoughts:

1 are you a consistent introvert or do you almost have different seasons where you can be introverted for few months and then be extroverted for a few months?

2 have you ever experienced panic attacks due to a social situation or a over a long period of time having to socialize? (and what helps you manage your panic attacks)

3 what kind of work do you do, and what kind of work do you wish you were doing?

4 how often do you socialize with family and friends? is it a comfortable amount or do you prefer more or less

________________________

i will go first and answer how these relate to me

1 i definitely am not a consistent introvert which i think makes my case as an introvert even more difficult. there are times where i can usually go for a few months and comfortably socialize with family and friends with no trouble, then there are dry periods where i will go months or a year and absolutely need to be alone or in very few social situations as possible. this hurts my case as an introvert because when i'm comfortable socializing no one sees the introverted side, then when i'm going through a introverted phase and i dont choose to go to visits with family and friends they can only conclude that i dont want to see them or dont like them. so i would say i can be extroverted or at least a comfortable introvert in small amounts over time but mainly am a solid introvert.

2 yes, i find that more than anything in my life, socializing causes me more anxiety than anything else. all of my many panic attacks have occurred during social situations or out at work, not usually ever in small groups and never alone, and once i leave the social setting i'm totally fine again. i feel it is almost the bodies way of saying that mentally its on overload and needs time to clear and be alone and get back to normal. for me the only thing that has ever helped social anxiety and panic attacks (besides medication which isnt an option for me after strong side effects) has been to strictly monitor how often i socialize, with who and for how long....the ONLY cure for me!

3 i work from home as a watercolor artist, mainly creating paintings of homes for realtors, it is both a blessing because i can be alone and work all day, and a nightmare because i'm home all day and i think it is making me a worse introvert because all the solitude makes it even harder to go out and socialize sometimes, but probably not as big of a difference as i think. i think this job is a great fit over all and though i barely make enough to live i'm content so i would say this is what i would like to be doing as well.

4 i see my wife everyday, and i make sure we get one weekend together (she likes to keep her social calendar full every other weekend, haha). i see my family maybe every other month and one visit to her family every other month. my best friends who are both married now i see once every 2 months (sometimes with spouse sometimes without). i would say this is pretty comfortable for me at the moment.

anyway, just curious how other introverts relate to these questions. thanks!

llw14
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby llw14 » Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:21 am

1. I've found that I'm more introverted when in a relationship. When I'm single I tend to be more outgoing in order to put myself out there to find someone. Once I get into a relationship, my social drive tends to nosedive quite a bit. My introversion tends to be amplified when paired with an extrovert.

2. No panic attacks but I tend to dread it. I still fall into the habit of wondering what's wrong with me and why I can't seem to enjoy socializing.

3. Engineer and I like it.

4. Well outside of the activities I do with my "friends", I don't socialize with them really. My gf has an infinitely large social circle so it's endless small talk for me, :(.

Too bad there's no way to get the benefits of being outgoing without actually being outgoing :ecstatic: .

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Daisy
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby Daisy » Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:59 am

1. I'm consistent in being an introvert,

2. I don't have panic attacks, just jittery feelings

3. Thankfully I got to retire early.

4. My husband is also an introvert, We live across Country from relatives,

Divchyna
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby Divchyna » Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:53 am

1 are you a consistent introvert or do you almost have different seasons where you can be introverted for few months and then be extroverted for a few months?

- I have never noticed " different seasons", but what I can say is that with certain people or groups of people I am not introverted at all. When I enjoy the company of people I am with and as long as it is not a large group of people,I can be very sociable and even talkative.

2 have you ever experienced panic attacks due to a social situation or a over a long period of time having to socialize? (and what helps you manage your panic attacks)

- No panic attacks....yet

3 what kind of work do you do, and what kind of work do you wish you were doing?

- I work in banking (mortgage banking). I would prefer work in IT or working for a social cause or working with children.

4 how often do you socialize with family and friends? is it a comfortable amount or do you prefer more or less.

- My family lives in another country, so we talk on Skype weekly. Many of our friends moved to other states for better jobs or better climate, so we have very few friends in the area. When I do meet up with the friends that we have left here, I enjoy their company but we meet , like maybe once a month. Everyone seems to be busy with their jobs and their kids....I have joined a few Meetup.com groups but find that I rarely have time to participate in them. If I am not working, then I take my son to different sports and activities and really only have time on weekends to socialize...but then again I often have to work on Saturdays too :(

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supervillin
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby supervillin » Fri Mar 13, 2015 11:24 am

great to read the replies!

llw14 wrote:1. I've found that I'm more introverted when in a relationship. When I'm single I tend to be more outgoing in order to put myself out there to find someone. Once I get into a relationship, my social drive tends to nosedive quite a bit.

i've noticed the exact same thing, i think mostly because my social needs and energy is spent mostly on my wife and there is less time and energy to socialize as often as i once did

Daisy wrote:3. Thankfully I got to retire early.

ah, lucky!

Divchyna wrote:- I have never noticed " different seasons", but what I can say is that with certain people or groups of people I am not introverted at all. When I enjoy the company of people I am with and as long as it is not a large group of people,I can be very sociable and even talkative.

well said! i think this is probably more accurate for me too, i change my answer to this, haha

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby BlackDragon » Sat Mar 14, 2015 12:42 pm

1 are you a consistent introvert or do you almost have different seasons where you can be introverted for few months and then be extroverted for a few months?

I'm pretty consistently introverted. The only exception seems to be if I'm in a group of people I know well. For example, when I was working on my AS degree in web design, I was part of a two-year program and took classes with the same group of students for the entire time. By the time we graduated, I felt very comfortable around them and went out a lot (I was almost a party girl!)


2 have you ever experienced panic attacks due to a social situation or a over a long period of time having to socialize? (and what helps you manage your panic attacks

Yes, but only in situations involving my in-laws. I was never allowed to be in control or express my discomfort in that relationship. Any other social situation I have been in, I have felt comfortable retreating when I've had enough, but that wasn't "allowed" with my in-laws.


3 what kind of work do you do, and what kind of work do you wish you were doing?

Right now I work at McDonald's (it was the only thing I could find in the economic meltdown :( ). It's pretty much been hell for me - too many people, too much hustle and stress, and too much noise! I'm starting a QC position in a couple of weeks at a bulk printing facility. I'll be checking samples from rolls of printed material to make sure they match client specs. It seems like a much more laid back job, but I worry I'll get bored. :?

Previously I had been trying to find a job working admin in a medical facility. After I finished my BA in psychology, I completed a certification for medical admin, but nobody seemed particularly impressed. I was trying to get my foot in the door to eventually work in medical coding. Just me, a computer, and coding book - I thought it'd be the perfect job, but there's lots of competition for that area of work. They only want to hire people with experience.

OTOH, I could always go back to school for a master's in counseling. I love psychology and think I could handle one-on-one interaction okay.

4 how often do you socialize with family and friends? is it a comfortable amount or do you prefer more or less

My family lives across the country and I don't have any friends right now who I see outside of work. I would love to see the family members I'm close to more - my mom, dad, and brother - but I really have no desire to catch up with aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I've been planning to go back home to visit but had to specifically ask my mom not to bombard me with relatives when I do! We're a particularly close extended family, but all the get-togethers have always been miserable for me.

My level of socialization is somewhat satisfactory for me. I joke around with people at work and get socialization there. The main problem is I'm married to a fellow home-body. My husband is always hanging around the house with me and sometimes it gets on my nerves. I've often told him that I love being married to him, but I want my own apartment! Sometimes, if I have a little extra cash on hand, I will actually go on "vacation" and stay in a hotel for a couple of nights for alone-time!

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supervillin
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby supervillin » Sat Mar 14, 2015 3:12 pm

BlackDragon wrote:Sometimes, if I have a little extra cash on hand, I will actually go on "vacation" and stay in a hotel for a couple of nights for alone-time!

brilliant! i've thought of doing this many many times, i think this year i'm going to go for it. part of the joys of being single was the sea of alone time to travel. i'm very content being married but a good trip away once or twice a year would be great!

BlackDragon wrote:I'm starting a QC position in a couple of weeks at a bulk printing facility.

this sounds like a much better fit, good luck!

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby SandWshooter » Sun Mar 15, 2015 4:49 am

1. Consistent, only change is if I am comfortable

2. Yep. Watching TV helps me, as does reading

3. Student, want to go into Logistics

4. Whenever I have to; I usually feel no overwhelming need to
Hi, mac!

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby Orientalist » Sun Mar 15, 2015 2:11 pm

1. I've been a consistent introvert over the years.

2. Never had any panic attacks, but when I was young I did feel nervous before interviews.

3. My father, more of an introvert than me, was an engineer. A lot of engineers seem to be introverts. I was never interested in engineering but I got into IT (the next best thing), and ended up doing a lot of programming. Just me and a computer - that's how I like it. With hindsight, I think I would have enjoyed some kind of research job.

4. I moved away from home in search of adventure when I was young, so I haven't spent much time with my family. I wrote letters to them throughout my life, though. These days I stay in contact via the Internet and visit once a year.
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

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supervillin
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby supervillin » Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:35 pm

thanks again for all the great replies! its a huge help in understanding myself and other introverts. i'm a big fan of this forum :yes:

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby tongue35 » Thu Mar 19, 2015 5:49 pm

1-99% of the time im my same old introverted self..rarely when i hit the right conversation or some type of mood switch happens, i can appear to be much more engaged in conversations and people than normal..what causes this i dont know but it goes away quickly..whether im single or ina relationship, im still just as introverted..when in a relationship, i am always usually fighting for my own space and planning my time around when i can be alone and when i can fit others in....it shouldnt be like this but it is...

2-never experienced panic attacks due to socializing but have experienced bad mood swings and irritability..the only cure for these things is removing myself from the situation and retreating into solitude..

3-well i consider myself a service engineer, i walk around and fix things at my plant and at others..it requires much more socializing than i want or need and i usually come home tired and drained from it..as for what type of job id like to have that would fit my personality, im not really sure as if i had a job where i worked by myself all the time, i think i would fall into a funk..i would be too isolated for my own good..it seems the only way for me to socialize these days is if i have to!i wish i could change that but its like hardwired into my DNA..

4-i talk to my family once a week and usually only through texts, occasional phone-calls..when it comes to friends, geez i can go a month or longer without calling or talking to friends..this is one area im not sure if i truly want to change or not..i do need to socialize more and go out more with friends and what not but at the same time, my natural drive and urge to do so is very very low..sometimes it seems like its non-existent..like another poster said, i cant figure out why i seem to almost dread socializing so much when in actuality, there isnt much to dread about it..it just seems like more effort than reward for me for the most part..i just dont seem to feed off of talking to people like others do even if its meaningful discussion with friends.there is something missing it seems..hard to explain

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supervillin
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Re: questions for introverts

Postby supervillin » Sat Mar 21, 2015 11:21 pm

tongue35 wrote:it just seems like more effort than reward for me for the most part..i just dont seem to feed off of talking to people like others do

couldnt agree more, i've spent most of my life feeling this, i do well one on one, but in a group i feel like im the rainman all the sudden, its really terrible.

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby tongue35 » Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:06 am

couldnt agree more, i've spent most of my life feeling this, i do well one on one, but in a group i feel like im the rainman all the sudden, its really terrible.[/quote]

even 1 on 1 i feel like my interest just isnt there for the most part during most conversations..whether its with friends or people around town or when shopping, there is just something lacking from the social experience with me..many times i feel a case of deja vu when socializing, its like we have been over this topic before..lol..i just look at others who can just meet up and talk endlessly and im like wtf..

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby Daisy » Sun Mar 22, 2015 3:47 am

i feel a case of deja vu when socializing, its like we have been over this topic before..lol..i just look at others who can just meet up and talk endlessly and im like wtf..


This is exactly how I feel too.

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Re: questions for introverts

Postby Daydreamer » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:57 am

1. Definitely consistent, I used to try to act more extroverted when I was a teen but it made me so unhappy I just stopped and started acting the way I naturally wanted to. I'm happy when there is nothing on the calendar, and when nobody calls or rings the doorbell....

2. Panic attacks? I'm not sure but my health has certainly been affected. I have the immune system of a mouse at the best of times, but when I know some kind of social gathering is coming up, I often become ill. I also have stomach issues which always churn up too, likely due to the anxiety.

3. I am a housewife and carer for my husband who has a severe form of epilepsy. I am an avid reader and writer. I was always interested in writing literature or music.

4. It varies. I live abroad now with my husband, so we see people very, very rarely. Once a week for about an hour and that's it. Although we are about to go to lunch with his family today, which I'm already dreading and desperate to be over. I think they're all wonderful, I'd just prefer to see them one at a time rather than all at once. When we visit my family, however, I stay with my parents, so I am forced to be more social that way, which I admit, can be very frustrating. Had numerous complaints that they rarely see me when I'm visiting, and I understand where they are coming from, but in my mind, I'm being a LOT more social than usual. I just prefer to be with my husband and only my husband.


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