What is it about Solitude..??

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tongue35
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What is it about Solitude..??

Postby tongue35 » Tue Mar 03, 2015 6:36 pm

that is so comforting to an introvert?i just helped a friend move today..there were three of us helping and i have known these guys since high school..we all get along great but after 2-3 hours i felt that urge to get some alone time..keep in mind i havent seen these guys in months but still after a few hours, i couldnt wait to get away from them and just go home and be by myself..they almost begged me to go out to eat with them but the thought of that was draining..we laughed and talked about old times but it doesnt matter, in the end i will almost always prefer solitude...really though, what is so great about alone time for people like us?im home now and i feel myself recharging and just being able to be myself although that doesnt accurately describe it..i wish socializing wasnt so draining to me but even positive conversations are..now i wont have a need or desire to talk to or hang out with these guys for a week if not longer..makes it somewhat difficult to maintain many relationships being like this though..

im now in solitude and again, its not like im just ecstatic being by myself, its just i dont have to expend energy in this state..hmmm

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Daisy
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby Daisy » Wed Mar 04, 2015 1:31 am

With me, I like peace and quiet.

llw14
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby llw14 » Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:03 am

For me it's the quiet, the calm and the lack of buzz that does it. I remember a few weeks back I was volunteering for my sport club and two of us were in a waiting room for a good long time. I was perfectly fine with just talking with the one other person...even small talk! But once other people started filing in one after the other, I felt like I wa losing energy "units" with each person that entered. Eventually there was multiple conversations going on all at once, lots of loud laughter and raised voices. By the end I was feeling miserable and irritable and no longer had the desire to engage anyone. My energy hit bottom. Then something interesting happened. As soon as the people left the room one by one, I felt my energy units coming back, increasing with each exiting person until it was just me and one other person and my desire to talk returned. Thing is, I like all these people and have known them for years. But it was kinda cool just observing within myself in "real time" what happens, energy wise with introversion. It's obviously nothing I can control...just the way it is.

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SandWshooter
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby SandWshooter » Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:37 pm

Well you need a nice quiet place to have your anxiety attacks, doing otherwise is rude
Hi, mac!

tongue35
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby tongue35 » Sun Mar 08, 2015 4:05 am

yep, thats what i have noticed, when i start to feel drained, there is nothing i can do about it atm but retreat to solitude..i was playing board games the other night with a group of people and the first hour or so went fine but then all of the talking and chatter got to me and i was just waiting for it to be over..it seems like for every 1-2 hours of social time i get i need 6-8 hours of alone time..

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MrCawfle
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby MrCawfle » Fri Jun 05, 2015 3:13 am

Dogs need bones. Cats need mice. Introverts need quiet. Once I figured this out AND there was nothing wrong with me, I could use it to my advantage. It's like Billy Bob in Slingblade quietly looking at that broken lawnmower. Is there any GAS in it? ;)

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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby Qewbahtiar » Sun Mar 26, 2017 4:58 pm

Solitude ?

That I started drained energy after anxiety attacks . So i need some quite place , that make me feel better . I prefer return to my house,plays some music while reading some articles that me input of knowledgeble.,

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AcousticPond
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby AcousticPond » Wed Mar 29, 2017 10:36 am

I think it's because we introverts are neurologically 'wired' to internalize instead of externalize (which describes extroverts). For me, externalizing is like having to write with my left hand when I'm right-handed. It's awkward, it's unnatural, and it's tiring after a short time. I can do it, but not very well, and not for very long. When you're around others, most of the time, you're forced to externalize. And, even if you're around people and no one is directly communicating with you at that time, there's still the expectation of externalization at some point (which I find just as tiring); you're on guard, watching to see if anyone is trying to make eye contact with you, wondering if you're supposed to be jumping into a conversation, or feeling concern that someone is perceiving you as rude for being so quiet.

With solitude, all of that goes away. You have the luxury of going with your natural tendency to be as internal as you choose without having to worry about how you're being perceived.

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Pathfinder
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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby Pathfinder » Tue Aug 22, 2017 5:49 pm

llw14 wrote:Then something interesting happened...


I thought you were going to say that a beautiful busty blonde walked in or something...lol.

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Re: What is it about Solitude..??

Postby Pathfinder » Tue Aug 22, 2017 5:55 pm

For me socializing feels like work. The only exceptions I've experienced to that is a) When a group of people are carrying the conversation and I can interject once in a while when appropriate or b) when the conversation is interesting enough that I seem to forget about time. Even under condition "a" I've had enough after 3 hours or so.


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