Introversion and Sexuality...??

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tongue35
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby tongue35 » Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:43 pm

hmm i have noticed a common theme that runs through many introverts i have talked to(mostly guys)...when it comes to sex, us introverts dont seem to be all that interested..its not like we dont enjoy it or cant enjoy it but its nothing like most people make it out to be..i have to be completely honest, one night stands have never done much for me....they are never as thrilling as tv/movies, other people make them out to be..i mean, i know guys that are on the hunt 24/7 to get laid but with me, its more like ehh, if it happens, ok and if it doesnt, thats fine too...in fact, much of the time im almost indifferent to it tbh..i have had times in the past where women have made it very clear what they wanted and i just kept walking or i had friends with gfs that had friends that were horny and wanted it asap but to me, i was just like meh...

is this an introverted thing or what?usually, its almost taboo for a man to admit that sex doesnt matter much to him, but to me, it honestly dont...i not saying i never want it but id guesstimate about 95% of the time, i dont :)

how do you rate when it comes to this?this is another area which has left me feeling detached and different than most people my age..

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Justwatching
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby Justwatching » Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:29 pm

:shock: but it's sex!

Lol, kidding. Not that bothered about sex either. The problem for me looks this - not interested in one-night-stands (STD cesspit and often requires going to nightclubs and other such 'social' venues where all you'll find are entitled tarts who think you owe them drinks). Sex in long-term relationships becomes a chore and if you don't put-out enough they always start moaning and guilting you (Oh, don't you find me attractive anymore!, etc.). Thinking a 'friend with benefits' might be the way to go in future.

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Justwatching
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby Justwatching » Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:37 pm

Or just forgo the obnoxious business of sex altogether and masturbate instead. Just putting it out there.

I know, I know - sex is supposed to be preferred, but is it? Don't know about you, but I can give a pretty mean hand-job :ecstatic:

tongue35
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby tongue35 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:00 am

well the biggest problem when it comes to sex vs masturbation is internet porn makes masturbating so easy and enjoyable...if you want sex, you have to climb through hoops..

as for friends with benefits, i have one right now and tbh, its really not all its made out to be..then again, mine has other issues which makes things difficult so..

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Justwatching
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby Justwatching » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:21 am

"...if you want sex, you have to climb through hoops.."

Indeed. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

"as for friends with benefits, i have one right now and tbh, its really not all its made out to be..then again, mine has other issues which makes things difficult so.."

That's interesting. So, do you think the fault is in the concept itself or just a misjudgment on your part (i.e. got with/stayed with a girl that doesn't respect the boundaries of a casual relationship)?

ruberbandman9
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby ruberbandman9 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:33 pm

I've heard that a large number of people with aspergers are asexual, so the introverts that aren't into sex could have aspergers. Just a theory. :P

tongue35
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby tongue35 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:28 pm

Justwatching wrote:"...if you want sex, you have to climb through hoops.."

Indeed. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

"as for friends with benefits, i have one right now and tbh, its really not all its made out to be..then again, mine has other issues which makes things difficult so.."

That's interesting. So, do you think the fault is in the concept itself or just a misjudgment on your part (i.e. got with/stayed with a girl that doesn't respect the boundaries of a casual relationship)?


haha i likew that saying and for most part, the juice(socializing/dating/pick up games) has never been worth the sex..maybe im not finding the right women or my expectations are too high, hence why i wanted more input from fellow intros :)

i honestly dont know if the women im picking just dont click right with me or if i want something deeper than just seeing her once a week and having sex..my fwb has a kid though and brings problems so...i just know by what i hear from friends wheb they talk about hooking up with women on the side and they act like it is the end all be all..it has never worked out like that for me..

i was friends with this girl, then we had sex, now things are just strange..its that weird grey zone where its not a relationship but not strictly sex either...

there are times i have thought maybe im asexual, at least 95% of the time :)

tongue35
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby tongue35 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:30 pm

ruberbandman9 wrote:I've heard that a large number of people with aspergers are asexual, so the introverts that aren't into sex could have aspergers. Just a theory. :P


i dom have a few aspergers like traits so i dunno..so many different disorders and personality traits overlap its hard to tell which is which..

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SandWshooter
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby SandWshooter » Thu Dec 11, 2014 10:09 pm

I want to have a bunch of kids. Take from that what you will, in regards to this topic
Hi, mac!

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Justwatching
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby Justwatching » Mon Dec 22, 2014 9:22 pm

ruberbandman9 wrote:I've heard that a large number of people with aspergers are asexual, so the introverts that aren't into sex could have aspergers. Just a theory. :P


You might have hit the nail on the head. Scored 39 on the AQ test (32 being the threshold for Asperger's). Test linked below. What's your score tongue?

http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

DebsWasRight
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby DebsWasRight » Tue Dec 23, 2014 5:05 am

I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one. My girlfriend and I fight all the time over this. It's not that I don't enjoy the act of having sex, but I'm just never that motivated to do it. I try to explain to her that it's got nothing to do with her and is simply my lack of a strong sex drive, but she cannot ever seem to fully accept this and always thinks it's because I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be (at the beginning of our relationship I was a lot more into having sex). I don't really know what it is, but I'm rarely ever in the mood to initiate it, and many times she tries to get things going and I still just can't seem to get in the mood for it. Sure it feels good, but I guess I'm just more motivated by mental activities that make me "feel good" rather than physical ones. Come to think of it, I have never experienced the so-called "runner's high," and never really feel that happy when working out, so maybe any kind of physical stimulation just isn't doing it for me.

Also, I took that Asperger test and scored a 35, so I guess that could be a factor in all of this too.

tongue35
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Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby tongue35 » Mon Dec 29, 2014 3:48 am

DebsWasRight wrote:I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one. My girlfriend and I fight all the time over this. It's not that I don't enjoy the act of having sex, but I'm just never that motivated to do it. I try to explain to her that it's got nothing to do with her and is simply my lack of a strong sex drive, but she cannot ever seem to fully accept this and always thinks it's because I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be (at the beginning of our relationship I was a lot more into having sex). I don't really know what it is, but I'm rarely ever in the mood to initiate it, and many times she tries to get things going and I still just can't seem to get in the mood for it. Sure it feels good, but I guess I'm just more motivated by mental activities that make me "feel good" rather than physical ones. Come to think of it, I have never experienced the so-called "runner's high," and never really feel that happy when working out, so maybe any kind of physical stimulation just isn't doing it for me.

Also, I took that Asperger test and scored a 35, so I guess that could be a factor in all of this too.


oh i can feel a runners high or an endorphin rush but ive never been motivated much for sex..yep, women dont usually take too kind to this and get hurt but they just dont realize there are men out there that simply care that much about sex... im not sure if its a lack of dopamine or some other neurotransmitter but i think something has to be the cause of it..des u are lucky as even when i first meet a woman im not that interested in having sex with her so i dunno..

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Re: Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby hawk » Thu Apr 02, 2015 6:28 pm

I'm pretty sure I'm an introvert, and this is not so true about me. Except the part about one night stands, I'm not really comfortable with them either. But about sex drive, sometimes I think I have too much of it actually! And being an introvert has caused me to be alone with my thoughts for significant amounts of time, and these thoughts tend to go steamy frequently! :whistle:

BTW I live in a Muslim country [I'm an atheist myself, for the record :geek: ] where premarital sex is still a huge taboo & culturally prohibited. I haven't had intercourse yet; even though I have a gf, it's been limited to something like foreplay at most. The restrictive environment that I live in has something to do with this for sure.

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Re: Introversion and Sexuality...??

Postby 4Far2Go » Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:15 pm

Hi Newbie here, Bob, interesting thread. I'm an introvert usually test out at 100% also have High Functioning Autism, Aspergers, I love sex not that I've had near enough. Married an extrovert gone now. Hardly any sex 11 years maybe 10 times. Met a girl really like but far away, and now I want sex badly (with her only) I'm sure after we are together that desire will quiet itself a bit, but do like it a lot. 65 years old BTW. Haven't like the effort either of meeting someone and the bullshit etc you have to go thru and then it doesn't work anyway (talking about past exp.). Total waste of time. I really think prostitution should be legalized. Of course if I had someone I would not go to one, but for people in a similar situation and others it would be a welcome respite.


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