why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

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utopian
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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby utopian » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:09 pm

I just love painting & drawing and just paint what I want to paint just for my joy.(I also have many things which I prefer to do by myself) However, when I`m immersed in, some other people talk to me and break into my own privacy by asking me what I am doing. Therefore, sometimes I feel embarrassed caz they talk to me too respectfully.
If you are introvert as titled, I think you have same kind of experience which you really like, but you really don't wanna be interfered.
How do you think about that and How do you deal with that.
I just made my thread caz I believe that some people can share something in this closed community.

thank you

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Kurtis » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:14 pm

I can relate to the part where people burst in asking to know what I'm doing at the time, I can even tell them if I'm not in a particularly private mood. I'm not sure embarrassment is the right word because I'm not embarrassed if someone walks in whilst I'm in the middle of a hobby, but I do get slightly irritated depending on the person (and I usually do stop whatever it was I was doing, mainly because I consider it private). If I'm working as well, I hate having someone look over my shoulder constantly (both for business and pleasure), I usually like to be left alone and allowed to get on with whatever I was doing.

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Pathfinder » Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:46 pm

I read somewhere once that Introverts don't like to show their work before it's done. I'm certainly like that and yeah I hate people looking over my shoulder too. Very irritating.

I also hate being interrupted for a number of reasons when I'm focused on a task. I have difficulty tolerating it at times and sometimes I regretfully am a little too blunt about it when I think they should know better. I try hard not to do that but sometimes the frustration is just overwhelming.

Another thing that happens to me regularly is people offering to "help" me. Most of the time I would rather not have any help. I find that many times explaining things to others takes longer and yield poorer results than just doing it myself. My wife often says to me that I should accept the help more often because it's all part of the male bonding thing... I do have to admit that on a few of the occasions when I did accept help things turned out better than I had expected — not as good as I would have wanted though...

utopian
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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby utopian » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:21 pm

Thank you for your posts.
I feel more relieved thanks to share your experience.
It might be a kind of paradox because if there are too many people around us, we feel other people watch us so that we get less motivated, and yet if we focus on doing something too much by ourselves, we feel lonesome like living in a cell. That afflicts introverts us. Individually, we tend to prefer to be standalone, but as a part of community, we need to rely on the relationship in the community to perceive our existence. I'll keep up to enjoy interaction with communities around me and doing something in my private space which nobody can interrupt, as well.

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Pathfinder
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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Pathfinder » Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:08 pm

You're right Utopian, our lives are somewhat of a paradox. I've read quite a few posts of lonely Introverts seeking the company of a companion, yet many of us push people away on a regular basis. That's counterproductive to meeting people to say the least but it is part of who we are.

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Rider » Sun Mar 09, 2014 3:12 am

Hi, all. I'm new here.

I too don't like to be interrupted when I'm immersed in my pursuits. I approach some of my pursuits in terms of improvement and goals, so I often feel like little chats with passersby interrupt my progress. But it's equally about the "inside time" that I get from my pursuits.

About the paradox of an introvert's need for companionship, I've never felt like I pushed a companion away. The closest I had to that was my companion and I not reaching an understanding about together time versus alone time.

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby SandWshooter » Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:57 am

Rider wrote:Hi, all. I'm new here.

I too don't like to be interrupted when I'm immersed in my pursuits. I approach some of my pursuits in terms of improvement and goals, so I often feel like little chats with passersby interrupt my progress. But it's equally about the "inside time" that I get from my pursuits.

About the paradox of an introvert's need for companionship, I've never felt like I pushed a companion away. The closest I had to that was my companion and I not reaching an understanding about together time versus alone time.


Welcome to the forum! I agree with the interruptions thing 100%; it is one of my biggest pet peeves
Hi, mac!

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby tongue35 » Sun May 18, 2014 4:39 am

Pathfinder wrote:You're right Utopian, our lives are somewhat of a paradox. I've read quite a few posts of lonely Introverts seeking the company of a companion, yet many of us push people away on a regular basis. That's counterproductive to meeting people to say the least but it is part of who we are.


this is true and has always been the case for me..i make friends but i only have a small amount of 'social energy'..most friends do not understand this and end up wanting to hang out too much so its then i push them away and decline their invitations..ive come to realize i cannot maintain a normal friendship..

people bother us because they feed off of our energy, they like to be around us..i can enjoy my friends company but its rare and that sounds terrible, doesnt it?its true though, i have to be in the right mood to socialize..

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why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Tsuki » Sun May 25, 2014 10:55 pm

Being in university and living with full extroverts I can really relate.
Even making dinner is a challenge, cant be making my own thing without them poping over my shoulder and making tons of questions "what are you doing?" "whats that?" "are you sure its done that way?"
They almost drive me mad sometimes, then they wonder why I'm always in my room and dont socialise, just being around that kind of people drains me insanely fast.

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Re: why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Victoria » Sat Oct 24, 2015 12:55 am

Hi!

I know this is a old post, but I just recently found this site and I can relate to what was said here. It happened to me the other day while I had down time at work. I usually take that time to write and work on whatever story or words that come into my head while I am sitting there. I didn't expect much to come out of what I was writing that day, but the words and imagery were just flowing. And even though I didn't know what this story I was writing was ultimately going to be about or where it was going to go, I had two characters and a scene that I could see perfectly in my mind. And I was writing it out, too.

But then one of my coworkers sat down beside me. At first I tried to ignore him, but I could see him staring at me, so I looked up.

"I'm curious to know what you are doing. Are you writing a story?" He had asked me.

And I was like,"Yeah...O-O"

At first I was kind of excited that he was interested in what I was working on. But then he started asking me questions like what the story was about and if it was a horror story and if I was going to turn it into a book. And so on and so on. And I couldn't tell if he was being sincere or just trying to figure out why I would be sitting there writing instead of doing something else like my other coworkers do when we have down time, which is sit in a big group and talk to one another.

So, I asked him if he wrote. And he said no. Which made me not want to talk to him anymore, because I knew he probably just thought I was odd which was why he was interrupting me. So, I just brushed him off and gave him the hint that I was going to talk to him or answer his questions. And he got it and eventually left me alone.

But I couldn't refocus back in my work. The excitement and zone I had been in was gone.

I usually feel this way. I like writing or working on something when I know no one else is going to be coming up to me asking what I am doing and possibly making fun of me for it (like when I went to a predominatly black High School in tenth grade and would read a book at a table by myself to pass the time. Kids would just think I was strange. So I stopped going to lunch and just went and read at the library instead) or when I am by myself or in a quiet place or at the perfect time.

I don't like sharing my work with others unless I know that person will appreciate it. Which is why I post my work on sites where other people who "get" that kind of stuff can find it.

I feel like extroverted people like things that are much like themselves,"In your face". If I had been rapping instead of writing, I'm sure that no one would come up to me and be like,"What are you doing?" and bothering me. XD

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Re: why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby Daisy » Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:19 am

Hi Victoria, Welcome. I know that feeling of frustration. On here we can all relate to it.

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Re: why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby nicoclone » Fri Feb 26, 2016 11:41 am

Maybe you just dont like if people interrupting when you are doing your hobby rather than being embarrased ROFTL... how do you deal with it, you ask?? My answer :
just deal with it!! People sometime just your curious type buddy so they may ask you what you are currently doing

Sometime when these people is curious and asking you what you are doing, at the same time, they dont realise if they are interrupting your world of fantasy (if you are writing story LOL)...

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Re: why people don't let us alone and make us less motivated?

Postby michaelgregoryii » Mon Feb 29, 2016 6:05 am

I don't paint, but I write and I understand the burden of someone wondering over your shoulders as you do your business.

On one hand, you want to tell them to leave you alone so you can concentrate. But on the other hand, you don't want to come off as being rude or unpleasant.

Although I prefer the first solution, society taught us better than that. The wisest decision you can make it entertain them with small talk and return back to your work. To avoid contact, put on headphones such as what I do or sit in an isolated area.
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