5 years (and counting) of one-sided love with an extroverted girl...

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5 years (and counting) of one-sided love with an extroverted girl...

Postby medalofhonour » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:06 am

I really see myself down and out currently. About 5 years ago I met this extroverted girl at work and since we both started working around the same time, we somehow instantly connected with each other.

She became a very good friend and we shared a lot of stuff about our lives and then it happened. I started liking her. As an introverted guy, I really liked how she made me feel comfortable in social situations. However at the same time she also started gaining other friends in the city and would eventually start calling me to hang out with her every evening. I wouldn't mind as long as she was the only one with me, but her "group" just kept on increasing and eventually dealing with all those people every other day was becoming too much for me. So I started declining her invitations.

She would still text me, and talk normally with me at work. Two years later, I eventually told her that I like her. Though she didn't like me back, she handled the entire situation very well and told me to let my feelings flow and with time everything would be ok. But I realized that she somehow started distancing herself from me (which probably is a natural thing to do). She would still talk to me, but her frequency of texting and talking with me started decreasing. Now it has come to a point where I see her everyday at work, but she hardly talks to me and messages me.

This has had a crazy effect on me. Instead of healing broken feelings, my feelings for her started becoming stronger. And my relationships with my other friends, family etc. started breaking because I wanted to spend more and more time alone than with people. And I am stuck in this crazy state to this day. I have lost passion for any hobbies that I previously had because all that space in my head is so occupied with thoughts about her and why she has "abandoned" me.

Meanwhile, none of this seems to have affected her as her network of friends has kept on becoming bigger and bigger through this. Now here's another horrible twist to this story. (Horrible for me) . She has now become good friends with another person at my workplace, who is an extrovert and is able to respond to her. What's worse is I am that guy's mentor at work. They are almost to the point of dating each other now.

So while I am spending all this time and energy here thinking about her and loving her, she is enjoying her life to the fullest.

How do I come out of this situation ? Quitting my job and moving on to a different job elsewhere would be an option, but it's not possible currently.

Have I lost this battle because of my introversion ?

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Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:16 pm
Gender: Male

Re: 5 years (and counting) of one-sided love with an extroverted girl...

Postby SingingBridge » Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:34 pm

Read Alain-Fournier's 'Le Grand Meaulnes' - because it tells a similar story and is a fine read, then forget about her and move on. Unattainable love is just that, like chasing your shadow - fun for a while, but pointless. Either find someone who is interested in you or keep yourself so busy that you don't think about her at all.

Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:11 pm
Gender: Female

Re: 5 years (and counting) of one-sided love with an extroverted girl...

Postby bunnysmom25 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 5:16 pm

Having once been in a similar scenario, I fled... I found a new job asap and embraced the newness of it all when I'm usually afraid. Engulfing myself in a new job only 10 mins away from the first, I found myself in a new bubble, and never ran into him or all the old work people again. It's probably not the "right" thing to do. But getting away is the first step in forgetting.

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