Introvert GF needs deeper conversation

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Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 2:37 am

Introvert GF needs deeper conversation

Postby mick714 » Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:17 am

I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months and she's an extreme introvert and I'm an extreme extrovert and at times it's caused some friction, most recently she moved a few months ago and while I will be moving too soon we mostly have texting to cover our communication needs and things really dropped off last month and it's stressed me out more than I can even express. When we're together things are amazing but when I leave they suck and we have like one convo a week. I finally just said that it bothered me and we needed to work it out. She told me it was because when we text we just go through the small talk routine and she wished we could have a real conversation. The awesome thing is that I've been feeling the exact same way so I know we can fix this. The problem is that we fell hard for each other immediately, and way harder than we have anyone else in previous relationships, which was great but it meant that we kinda skipped the "getting to know you on a deeper level" stage. I'm a very well read guy, I've travelled a lot, I did debate in high school and college so I'm very politically minded, i love philosophy and art so I feel pretty well rounded, but she's not political and starting a conversation with "hey you want to talk about Bentham's theories on deontology?" Is kind of weird and off putting. So I want to know, what are some good ways that I can put my feelers out and figure out what she wants to talk about, especially when she doesn't initiate conversations? We go to bookstores and generally have something to talk about by what books the other picks up but aside from just saying "tell me what you're passionate about", I need some help, especially because I don't want to appear invasive. So how, as an introvert, would you want someone to approach the subject? What topics do you like to get into?

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Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:03 am

Re: Introvert GF needs deeper conversation

Postby Optimist » Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:08 am


One technique that has worked for me, is to ask her what she would like to do on the coming weekend. You could provide some context for her by saying that you love her, and you would like to find more things that you both enjoy doing together.

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