Is my Introvert avoiding me?

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
Curious
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Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby Curious » Sat May 14, 2016 3:08 pm

post deleted
Last edited by Curious on Wed May 25, 2016 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Daisy
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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby Daisy » Mon May 16, 2016 12:15 am

There could be a good reason that you haven't heard from him, though I think you should let him make the next move.

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SandWshooter
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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby SandWshooter » Mon May 16, 2016 2:04 am

Why did you make so many identical threads?
Hi, mac!

Curious
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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby Curious » Mon May 16, 2016 6:53 pm

I didn't mean too. My phone was acting crazy and I kept trying to post not knowing that it went through. I couldn't figure out how to delete them either. Sorry!!!

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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby Kurtis » Mon May 16, 2016 11:44 pm

I agree with Daisy; there's a good chance he has something important going on that he's dealing with, so letting him take the next move now that he (should) know you're interested is probably the wisest option given what you've told us here.

I do think, however, it is unusual to leave people in the dark for such a long time, a simple message saying 'I will talk to you at such a time' isn't going to drain his metabolism. At least then you both know what to expect and when.

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LilTampa
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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby LilTampa » Tue May 17, 2016 1:25 am

Sex is the easy part of a new relationship. You know what to expect (for the most part), it relieves stress and creates an artificial connection between people. It may feel intimate but it actually allows walls to be put up. I had a rough divorce in my late 20's. When I finally returned to the dating scene (also online) I found that it was really easy to be "open" with people. Because I had time to process everything that was being said I could really read what I needed to hear into what folks were saying. This created this false connection before I even met them. When we finally met in person as long as there was some physical attraction I would typically see them a few times. Unfortunately the false connection we made online didn't often hold up in person. The result was I would usually have sex with them sooner than I would have liked to just because it was easier. If we were doing it I didn't have to talk or think or commit to any serious conversation, I didn't have to let down my walls. We could just do it and then crash or go home or whatever. It was a very effective way to end a date. The relationships where I had sex quickly all failed. Most didn't get more that a date or two beyond doing it. I never regretted any of it. Having sex made the whole dating process bearable. Not just because sex is great but because I was able to protect myself. If I wasn't interested in continuing the relationship I just wouldn't call. When they called me I would either ignore them until they stopped. I have never been any good at out and out rejecting someone. I know that doesn't really answer your question.

It's not going to be easy but you should wait him out. If you don't hear back.....

Curious
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Re: Is my Introvert avoiding me?

Postby Curious » Tue May 17, 2016 2:12 pm

I completely understand what you are saying. And you are right about sex creating artificial feelings and connections. I've done it myself. I do think it was a little bit more than sex(maybe not on a romantic level) but I think we did at most develop trust because we did have deep conversations and found out that we both have a parent who was addicted to drugs(I think his parent is still struggling with it). Also, that bis brother was involved in a pretty bad car accident that killed someone not even 7 months ago which is still pending. Not sure if any of those are affecting him currently. However, I know men in general tend to shut people out when they go through things. Putting the sex aside, because we relate on a certain level beyond the physical I would still be there for him as a friend.

I agree with you guys that I should let him make the next move if he's interested. At some point, I am going to reach out and check on him to make sure he is ok.


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