Making Friends and Connecting With People

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
Victoria
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Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby Victoria » Sat Feb 27, 2016 10:13 am

Has anyone else felt like this?

Lately I have been feeling so disconnected from people.

Okay...maybe it has been more than lately.

For awhile now I have been feeling like I just don't connect with anybody.

I mean, I'd either start off having a good relationship with someone...but my need to be alone or my depression would make me want to push them away.

I don't really like being around people that much...unless I really feel 100% with them.

If I don't, then most of the time I am just faking it. Forcing myself to try and be social.

But then I end up feeling like a phony, because I am. And it gets exhausting as well.

I don't really know how to explain it.

The last person I felt close to and like I wasn't tired of their company was an extrovert that never pushed me to be anyone else...and made me feel comfortable and confident about who I am.

And then I lost that person.

Nowadays I just feel shut off.

Like I am a pariah.

But I know it is because I made myself to be that way.

Because I felt like I didn't find anyone that I really connected with.

It is like introverts have a harder time clicking with other people...

And I kind of hate it but don't at the same time.

Like I said, I enjoy being alone.

But I don't like being alone when I am alone emotionally...

Any tips for how to make friends?

I know that people say to go out and find the people that have things in common with you...but right now I am not in the place to do that at.

I have a full time job and I don't really like any of the people I am around.

Not that I despise them...I just don't really feel like I fit in with them.

And it maybe because I don't want to.

I know I should stop acting so withdrawn, but I can't help it.

It seems to be part of my nature.

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nicoclone
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby nicoclone » Sat Feb 27, 2016 12:00 pm

"I don't really like being around people that much unless I feel 100% with them" it is the same as me... I like to be friend with someone if he is just has the same interest with me.. If I don't like someone and he is trying to be sociable towards me , I will just smile and listen to his useless word.. It is a way also to survive this world of mostly extrovert people by just feigning that you enjoy their talking until they just feel bored with you since I don't give any real response to what nonsense they are talking..
I know how you feel when someone expect to be sth else you don't want become or you can't yet achieved.. my parents always said that they confuse what job that I can apply to and about me sometime being ignorant to my surrounding.. well, i don't really care with things surrounding me since i don't give a damn with my lame life, so i am just ignorant of my environment.. I teach math subject at my father's education center, but they are still complaining sometimes.. maybe i should just expand my father's education center with me teaching English Subject too...
well, i don't like to be alone too. In fact, i am an introvert, i am also an attention seeker at the same time.. I have a hard time to make friends since my interest is just different with most of the students in my class when i were still studying at school... maybe i can be your friend.. I will always listen to what you want to share or I can give advice to your problem.. Sad, thia forum doesn't have any chat room feature, maybe we can exchange email, messenger, facebook, or other social media?? I prefer line messenger or email though..
you said that you have a full time job, maybe you can online and chatting with me when you are finished with your job.. what job are you doing anyway?? Don't answer if you don't want to..

Victoria
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby Victoria » Sat Feb 27, 2016 11:59 pm

I work with helping people who need jobs to get jobs. They come in and take a test, and I basically do a lot of boring paper work. :/

I am going back to school, though. And I'll probably have to get a part time job somewhere. But I'm going to try to apply for work study at the library.

And I'm going to try and be more active around campus by this time finding people who share the same interests as me. You are totally right about only being interested in the people who share your same interests. I've found a group here that support Creative Writing, so I'm going to try and attend their meet ups after I've moved into the dorms.

It is cool that you teach at an education center. Teaching is one of the things that I think I am going to do after I graduate. I used to never want to teach, but interacting with the people at my job has somewhat changed my mind. Because a lot of them are illiterate and it blows my mind how crooked the school systems can be where people who get paid to do something don't even do their jobs right.

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nicoclone
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby nicoclone » Sun Feb 28, 2016 10:00 am

Creative Writing? Interesting!! So what kind of story have you made until now? If you want to share the story, you can share it with me since i love reading story books..
well, do you mean people in your city, even after graduate from school, still cannot read words?? How can that be happening?? Btw, you are from what country?? What languages can you speak in??

SaneCatLady87
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby SaneCatLady87 » Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:45 am

I can relate to this. I feel like I just haven't found the right person to connect with/relate to...which makes me feel hopeless and sometimes lonely.

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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 06, 2016 5:50 pm

My interests are kind of odd, so it's difficult to find people to do stuff with
Hi, mac!

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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby LilTampa » Wed Apr 06, 2016 6:06 pm

Take it slow. One person at a time. And be open with them. My small circle of friends are all aware and okay with the fact that when I go out I can't stay out long and I may periodically drop off the face of the planet for months at a time. Try meetup. You can usually find a group for even the oddest of interests. :)

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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 06, 2016 7:24 pm

It'd be easier if I at least had some more common interests; I don't watch TV, don't follow any popular books series, don't like most new movies, don't really play newer games, and don't care about sports, which really limits me; even with the one thing I have an extreme interest in, I tend to be way more knowledgeable than others to the point that I literally had a job doing that thing and got fired partly because customers were uncomfortable with the fact that when I was answering their questions and helping them in general, they could see I knew much more than them
Hi, mac!

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ZaHEER
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby ZaHEER » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:09 pm

SandWshooter wrote:It'd be easier if I at least had some more common interests; I don't watch TV, don't follow any popular books series, don't like most new movies, don't really play newer games, and don't care about sports, which really limits me; even with the one thing I have an extreme interest in, I tend to be way more knowledgeable than others to the point that I literally had a job doing that thing and got fired partly because customers were uncomfortable with the fact that when I was answering their questions and helping them in general, they could see I knew much more than them

Lol..@the reason for firing

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SandWshooter
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:10 pm

Manager told me straight up that people were complaining that it was intimidating. It wasn't why I got fired, but it was why I was fired before the other 2 guys they canned
Hi, mac!

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ZaHEER
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby ZaHEER » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:13 pm

on somewhat similar note .. I marked that when I try to (overly - I guess ) help people with their technological problem .. they take a step back ..that made me think where should I draw the line.

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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby Kurtis » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:36 pm

SandWshooter wrote:Manager told me straight up that people were complaining that it was intimidating. It wasn't why I got fired, but it was why I was fired before the other 2 guys they canned

That's not really a reason to fire someone though, is it?? I know customer's in shops are a nightmare to deal with, but talking to them, answering their questions and being knowledgable shouldn't be intimidiating. I think your manager just wanted a reason to lay you off, so he's probably a tosser too. Then tosses off two other guys? Sounds like he just wanted to downsize for whatever reason.

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SandWshooter
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby SandWshooter » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:46 pm

They officially had it so that if people complained, you could be fired
Hi, mac!

Engage
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Re: Making Friends and Connecting With People

Postby Engage » Tue May 31, 2016 2:49 pm

I would consider myself a lucky introvert, but only in making friends. I have no problem finding people that I get along with, they usually just gravitate to me. With women, however, the lack of talking too much makes it very hard to connect.


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