Communication with extrovert girlfriend

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bibo
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:05 pm

Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby bibo » Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:35 pm

Dear All,

Thanks for letting me have the opportunity to interact with my fellow introverts.

I am in relationship with the lady of my dreams, she is an extrovert. We understand and love each other, we used to be close friends for a long time and now we are in love.

My problem is the communication, she is the talkative type, and like to have long chats. Actually I enjoy speaking and interacting with her, but lately she started feeling that I don't have active role, she is the one who initiates the conversations and drive it and feels this became her responsibility, and when she is in a bad mood we seem lost and I cannot lead the conversation. I'm trying to develop my communications skills, but I am not progressing, whenever I am trying it looks like I am only telling her somethings, but not involving her in an active conversation. And it does not look spontaneous.

Anyone of you guys been here before?
Any guidance,suggestions?

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Orientalist
Senior Member
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:17 pm
MBTI code: ISFJ
Gender: Male

Re: Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby Orientalist » Thu Feb 25, 2016 2:13 am

Frankly, if she is the extrovert, she will always be the one who initiates and drives the conversations - because she enjoys them. As the introvert, all you can ever do is participate. She needs to understand that. She could complain if you refused to participate, but it isn't fair to expect you to act like an extrovert.

Are the conversations interesting? We introverts really find small-talk torture. If the conversations aren't interesting for you, it will be difficult for you to even participate. Can you steer the conversations towards subjects that interest you and that you feel enthusiastic about?

I really don't see why you should have to lead a conversation when she's in a bad mood! FFS!
If the truth hurts, you ain't livin' right.

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nicoclone
Posts: 49
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:14 am

Re: Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby nicoclone » Thu Feb 25, 2016 6:31 am

Well, i havent even dating someone irl before. LOL. but i am still trying to think of a solution to your question xD. well, from someone that have never dating before view, i will agree with Orientalist... You must talk about topic that is interesting to you and also try topic that interest you both. If you can't find any topic, just talk about daily stuff you have been doing recently or watch some tv and you can find a lot of news about politics, economics, etc, that you can use to talk with her.. it is just hard to live as an introvert especially you are man and man seems like always been demanded to have an active role LOL. but you are still fortunate that you dont have the syndrome i have, i am a shy type actually xD, and i am too shy to look people directly at their eyes especially girl ones Xp... so you are still a lucky man.. ROFTL I am jealous of you now.... if you want to develop communication skill, you should try chatting with your friend not your girlfriend ofc xD, since for me, it is easier to communicate with chatting rather than speaking directly with people ROFTL. Bye!!!! Have nice day and success dating!!!!

bibo
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2016 9:05 pm

Re: Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby bibo » Thu Feb 25, 2016 10:48 pm

Thanks Orientalist,
Actually I enjoy small talks with my GF even though I'm not good at initiating it, the thing is when you need to support and be there for the one you love it needs some compromise, and learning somehow to comfort and cheer up your partner.

nicelone, thanks for your input, and I wish you luck :)

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ZaHEER
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:27 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby ZaHEER » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:00 pm

Conversation with extroverts are not that tough "if" she is really into you .. mostly I give them a break (of few days) when they demand me to find a topic or tell them straight I don't have any topic

Lovemyintro26
New Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:29 pm

Re: Communication with extrovert girlfriend

Postby Lovemyintro26 » Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:37 pm

Hey there,
So I am an extrovert, and I understand where you all are coming from. I have to initiate the conversation with my guy who's an introvert and sometimes i run of out things that are deep enough to keep him interested so I just get quiet. I don't expect him to carry the conversation because that's not how he operates. I've known him for a year so don't feel bad or as if you have to suddenly experience extro qualities just because she's in a bad mood. Comfort her any other way you can, if you feel like it. Over time she will grow to understand you and you all can make compromises. I just posted a question if you introvert guys in relationships can lend an advice, thanks.


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