For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
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I'm crazy about this girl. The way she looks at me, the things she tells me during private lunches, yeah she likes my company too. She's the colleague sitting next to me at my new job. But... the world-class girl that she is, if i'd kiss her, can't get rid of this feeling she'd get bored with me within two weeks. I'm a big introvert you know, and grateful for it, but in the process of becoming truly confident about it. Can't risk that hard earned self-love for some foolish feeling. Can't help to act cool in front her, I WANT her to like me. And then I think, good job pretender. How can I stop feeling unworthy of her, how to shed this fear that she'd be disappointed soon enough?
s0050506 wrote:How can I stop feeling unworthy of her, how to shed this fear that she'd be disappointed soon enough?
It's called self-esteem. You need to get some. I know, I know - easier said than done. But seriously, feeling like that is dysfunctional.
Look at it this way, if you keep pretending, you may "win" her but you'll have to keep it up forever. If you be yourself, you'll know early on if she'll accept that about you or not. If she can't then you're not meant to be anyway. If you fake it, you'll grow resentful of her once the honeymoon period ends and you'll be miserable.
yeah over the course of many years ive learned you cannot pretend to be a different person to win over a girl or attract someone..they will eventually see you for who you really are..thats the introverts dilemma imo as i find it very difficult to attract a girl being my naturally reclusive introverted self..as the old saying goes, you have to be yourself or else its doomed to fail anyways..
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She might dig you BECAUSE you're an introvert. My wife and I have a 25 year history. She's really blossomed in that time. With my introverted, non-confrontational ways, I've just gotten out of the path of her boulder rolling downhill (uphill, actually). It's a whole yin and yang thing. Do you really want to date a person who's just like you?
s0050506 wrote:...can't get rid of this feeling she'd get bored with me within two weeks.
Your quote above is almost exactly what my boyfriend said to me when I first returned his interest in me. He said "I'm afraid that one day you're going to realize that I'm actually really boring", and that put me at ease because I was afraid of the same thing.
There's been some really great comments here I strongly agree with, especially on the lines of - if she can't accept you for who you are, then it isn't going to work out anyway.
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