broke up with girlfriend

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mixedveggies
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:17 am

broke up with girlfriend

Postby mixedveggies » Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:37 am

Hello guys.. just want to share.. i broke up with my gf of 1 year...thats im beggining to be stressed almost all the time especially when she is asking memif we could go to a gathering after work or during the weekend..whenever she asks me to come with her, i begin to get stressed out..we work in the same office so communication is not at issue... she is an extrovert btw..she likes to go out and be in gatherings and such..anyway..but the stress did not stop there..whenever she wants alone time with me in a motel it also stresses me out..if it were up to me i just would like to go to dinner and watch a movie then go home...i tried explaining it all to her...she understands but it shows in her face thats shes being disapointed..in the first couple of months into our relalationship..it seemed okay for me to go out with her friends at first and go have alone time withe her in a motel for 12 hours...but as time goes by it seems like i pushing her away.. like i said earlier ,i dont want any gatherings anymore..no more alone time..i just want to stay ho e after work and even during week ends...now that i broke up with her coz it seems that i just disappoint her most of the time and the stress is just overwhelming for me...i just miss her so much..i want to get back together with her and just give back the love that she gave to me..i want to make her happy..but thinking about her lifestyle it just stresses me out..actually this is not the first ti e that thia happened..we broke up earlier but ended up getting back together again thinking that we can make it work but failed... PLEASE HELP ME GUYS! Just want to know if anyone else experienced this and what did you do to overcome this...im at a dead end

llw14
Posts: 73
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:06 pm
MBTI code: INTJ
Gender: Male

Re: broke up with girlfriend

Postby llw14 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 5:09 pm

Not sure I'm following correctly but did you break up with her because you thought you were pushing her away? Were there any fights because you wanted to stay home?

The first thing that comes to mind is that, in relationships, we, as introverts, will just have to accept that there will be gatherings to attend and most of the time we will not want to go but its part of being in a relationship with women as most of them are extroverts. If you have one a month to go to, we just have to put up with it. If it is one every weekend, then we have to set our boundaries and be clear about what we want and need. There has to be an understanding on both sides. Compatibility is something that can be built; very few couples have high compatibility without trying. They're the lucky ones. Doesn't mean the rest of us can't have happy relationships.

Only you can decide if you should try and reconcile with your partner though. In my experience and observation, couples that break up and get back together rarely stay together. There's a reason you break up in the first place.

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Daisy
Senior Member
Posts: 297
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:14 am
MBTI code: ISFP
Gender: Female

Re: broke up with girlfriend

Postby Daisy » Tue Apr 07, 2015 2:39 am

I left my first marriage after 7 years, I couldn't handle living with an extrovert.
My current husband is an introvert, we're compatible.

That relationship wouldn't last for you long term.

mixedveggies
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:17 am

Re: broke up with girlfriend

Postby mixedveggies » Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:44 am

llw14 wrote:Not sure I'm following correctly but did you break up with her because you thought you were pushing her away?



Thank you for the reply. No we were not fighting frequently Regarding this matter. we had a fight like once or twice about this but thats it.

actually thats one of the reasons why i broke up with her. The thought that i was pushing her away. Because i cant stand the dissapointment in her face and the guilt is just eating me up. I figured i cant keep hurting her like this, she desereves someone better, she deserves happiness. So i broke up with her. So right now im feeling the guilt that i did not give her enough and that i was a lousy bf to her while she gave all her love to me. That thought wants me to get back with her , but when i did that the first time around, we just circled back to the phase where im being stressed And intimacy level with her was poorly low again. Haaiisst..


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