Relationships in life?

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
AgnesPerez
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Relationships in life?

Postby AgnesPerez » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:37 pm

Hello. I'm here to get some advice from people who are introverts when it comes to relationships. I am extroverted, but my mom is an introvert, and her whole life she had felt lonely and put off by people, just recently I came across what it ment to be introverted and it matched my mom to a T.

Now I hope I don't come off as rude in any way, but I really want to help my mom feel more confident about who she is, especially since she feels lonely? Is there anything I can do as her daughter to help? I know that our society always pushes people to be social and outspoken, but is there a way to show my mom that it is okay to be who she is?

I also wanted to buy my mom a trip to the beach for a week, but I have been considering on whether to send her on her own or with my grandmother. She doesn't have any close friends, and about the only person she regularly talks to is my grandma, but even then she sometimes becomes stressed by her.

Now my worries are, if I send her alone, she might be lonely the whole time and end up not enjoying it as much, but if I send her with my grandmother she might stress out by being in such close quarters for so long. Or an I simply thinking too much about it?

I'm sorry I'm so ignorant about socializing for introverts, or if anything I said came off as rude, but I truly want to understand my mom better.

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SandWshooter
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Relationships in life?

Postby SandWshooter » Thu Dec 04, 2014 12:12 am

Send her to Disney with a male escort
Hi, mac!

Kurtis
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Relationships in life?

Postby Kurtis » Sat Dec 06, 2014 6:15 pm

Hi AgnesPerez;

Nothing you've said here has come across as rude or ignorant so you don't need to be concerned about that!

Anyway, it depends. I can't give you too definitive of advice because you're a little vague, but I'll try nevertheless.

You say the relationship between your mother and grandmother is sketchy given they get along but often get 'stressed.' This is normal for most relationships anyway, especially in family units so I don't think it would be an issue for the two of them to go together on that basis unless they get really angry with each other.

You have to remember that there's nothing wrong with wanting and needing a lot of alone time as well. If she's anything like a classic introvert, it's probably a case that she's not 'put off' from people necessarily, just that she can't be around many people for long periods of time because it simply drains her out. I think you also need to realise that her introversion is who she is if you don't already. If she's deliberately trying to be more extraverted and outspoken, then she should be stopped because she'll just wear herself out and pay the price long term.

I can't answer whether she'll be happy to send her alone or not because I need to know her a lot more than what you've said here. I know I personally appreciate welcome company of one or two people if people really want to tag along with me for a journey, but I can certainly make long trips and holidays alone without the need for companions. In fact, if she's very introverted, she might just appreciate you sending her alone. Based on what you've said though, I can't see anything wrong with sending her and your grandmother because they can keep each other in company and do a couple of one-on-one things with each other, things introverts love! Just don't send a group of friends with them!


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