I seem to have no interest in friends

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
QuietMan1234
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:44 pm

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby QuietMan1234 » Thu Nov 27, 2014 10:21 pm

I've found in life I have no motivation to make friends, none whatsoever. The only person I have is my girlfriend. I feel like society is something that very much frustrates me today something that never did back when I was a kid. I feel like pop culture such as comedy shows and all tv shows today don't teach life lessons and that's why when people are having conversations about Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones or Walking Dead, I'm like who cares. All those shows may be great if you like shows that don't teach life lessons, but they're not for me. This could be why I don't like people today, because they throw their crap at me saying you should watch this show or watch that show. I wish society's interests where primarily stuff from the past, because that's when life lessons were taught. I mean just watch Family Matters. I mean people thought Family Matters was nothing more than cheap jokes and a goofball destroying someone's house but what they fail to realize was that life lessons were taught a lot in that sitcom. It just wasn't just the fact that the show had comedy in it that made that show great, it was advice on how we should handle certain difficult situations and what we could do better the next time. It disappoints me immensely how low society has come and how we are completely out of original ideas and even worse people still watch the stuff on tv now. I mean I can't take an interest with much of anything at all today when it comes to people or pop culture. Also I sometimes wish I could leave my girlfriend for someone who is more outgoing, but I know that would be a waste of time because there is no one who is outgoing out there whose interests are primarily stemmed from the past so what would be the point. I feel I'm in a tough situation, it would be nice to make friends, but I'm not going to change my interests just so I can pretend to have conversations about things that don't interest me. That would make me just come off as a phoney, who is looking to just sell himself as someone important rather than genuine. Anyone have the same issues as me? Does anyone feel they simply can't connect with anyone on an interest level to make friends? Anyone have advice they can provide on this?

User avatar
Justwatching
Senior Member
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 10:53 pm
MBTI code: INTJ

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby Justwatching » Fri Nov 28, 2014 4:21 pm

Would have thought you'd watch Walking Dead with fantisful eyes. It depicts the destruction of civilisation - a life without the vacuous pop culture you disdain. The story is loaded with messages of morality, too - strength of the family bond, triumph of good over evil, morality over rationality blah, blah, blah. Basically, an advertisement of conservative values in zombie genre format. Or is that not what you meant by "life lessons"?

What exactly is it you're into? It ain't pop. culture - I got that. Philosophy, history? Surely there must groups or activities that are based around them. Might be a way to find people with common interest.

QuietMan1234
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:44 pm

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby QuietMan1234 » Fri Nov 28, 2014 4:55 pm

Justwatching wrote:Would have thought you'd watch Walking Dead with fantisful eyes. It depicts the destruction of civilisation - a life without the vacuous pop culture you disdain. The story is loaded with messages of morality, too - strength of the family bond, triumph of good over evil, morality over rationality blah, blah, blah. Basically, an advertisement of conservative values in zombie genre format. Or is that not what you meant by "life lessons"?

What exactly is it you're into? It ain't pop. culture - I got that. Philosophy, history? Surely there must groups or activities that are based around them. Might be a way to find people with common interest.



By life lessons I mean things that should be taught by people to other people as far as behavior and actions that people shouldn't take. For example, when I was growing up I used to watch shows that had people teaching other people to not do drugs and then give them advice as to why it's the wrong course of action. Then there were other episodes that talked about the dangers of gambling and using guns and advice was given by people as to what actions we should take when confronted with these decisions. I just feel shows don't stress this and even if they do stress things about guns or drugs or stuff, they don't usually give advice to people as to what is the correct source of action. If anything, I think majority of shows promote more evil behavior then they do good behavior even if there is the presence of implied messages. When I mean messages, I mean messages that you would teach your kids or any other family member for that matter.

llw14
Posts: 73
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:06 pm
MBTI code: INTJ
Gender: Male

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby llw14 » Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:37 am

QuietMan1234 wrote:Also I sometimes wish I could leave my girlfriend for someone who is more outgoing, but I know that would be a waste of time because there is no one who is outgoing out there whose interests are primarily stemmed from the past so what would be the point.

You're on an introvert forum and you wish you had someone that is MORE outgoing??? :idunno:

QuietMan1234
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:44 pm

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby QuietMan1234 » Sun Nov 30, 2014 7:22 am

llw14 wrote:You're on an introvert forum and you wish you had someone that is MORE outgoing??? :idunno:


Well I do consider myself a quiet introvert and a homebody, but I'm thinking maybe it's not in my best interest to stay with someone who is also introverted. I would say this for a variety of reasons. The first being if you have two introverts in a relationship, chances are one of them is not going to bring out the best in the other. I mean I think my girlfriend is a very nice person, but boy no matter how much I love her I can't imagine ever marrying her being that she neither drives nor has had a job in 5 years. I feel her passiveness is something that could rub off on me in the long run, because I do have a tendency to be passiveness as well, which in this world I realize is something I must overcome. Also I really feel I need someone who is willing to give me the kind of advice that can help me view life from a different perspective. In general I consider myself an unhappy person and it's not even related to the fact that I don't have friends, but how this cesspool of a society is run today. Every form of entertainment is trying to target things to be politically incorrect, which would be ok if only there were an actual abundance of shows that actually taught people the dangers of drugs or the dangers of gambling. Few if any at all of those shows exist anymore. That's why comedy is no longer about being fun, but rather cheap jokes that lack creativity. Comedy is summed up in a single word and that is sex. Not saying sex can't ever be funny, but that's all it is. It's no wonder why I'm always unhappy and can't extend conversation beyond a few meetings with people. It's this crap hole of a society with no teaching morals that creates my disdain for things that could be providing me with conversation , but won't. If only I could complain to these people what they give us.

llw14
Posts: 73
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:06 pm
MBTI code: INTJ
Gender: Male

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby llw14 » Sun Nov 30, 2014 11:07 pm

QuietMan1234 wrote:
Well I do consider myself a quiet introvert and a homebody, but I'm thinking maybe it's not in my best interest to stay with someone who is also introverted. I would say this for a variety of reasons. The first being if you have two introverts in a relationship, chances are one of them is not going to bring out the best in the other. I mean I think my girlfriend is a very nice person, but boy no matter how much I love her I can't imagine ever marrying her being that she neither drives nor has had a job in 5 years. I feel her passiveness is something that could rub off on me in the long run, because I do have a tendency to be passiveness as well, which in this world I realize is something I must overcome. Also I really feel I need someone who is willing to give me the kind of advice that can help me view life from a different perspective.

I suppose that's fair. But at the same time, if you don't see yourself marrying, why stay together? How long have you been together?

I've had two long term relationships, and both times have been with extreme extroverts (current gf included) and there are other challenges to this type of relationship as well; the obvious one being that you have opposite needs. She will have a need to socialize and you have a need for solitude. Having said this, extrovert/introvert relationships can work in your favour if you do somehow want to become more outgoing and make new friends as they do this so easily.

tongue35
Senior Member
Posts: 242
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 12:24 am

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby tongue35 » Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:01 pm

QuietMan1234 wrote:
Well I do consider myself a quiet introvert and a homebody, but I'm thinking maybe it's not in my best interest to stay with someone who is also introverted. I would say this for a variety of reasons. The first being if you have two introverts in a relationship, chances are one of them is not going to bring out the best in the other. I mean I think my girlfriend is a very nice person, but boy no matter how much I love her I can't imagine ever marrying her being that she neither drives nor has had a job in 5 years. I feel her passiveness is something that could rub off on me in the long run, because I do have a tendency to be passiveness as well, which in this world I realize is something I must overcome. Also I really feel I need someone who is willing to give me the kind of advice that can help me view life from a different perspective. In general I consider myself an unhappy person and it's not even related to the fact that I don't have friends, but how this cesspool of a society is run today. Every form of entertainment is trying to target things to be politically incorrect, which would be ok if only there were an actual abundance of shows that actually taught people the dangers of drugs or the dangers of gambling. Few if any at all of those shows exist anymore. That's why comedy is no longer about being fun, but rather cheap jokes that lack creativity. Comedy is summed up in a single word and that is sex. Not saying sex can't ever be funny, but that's all it is. It's no wonder why I'm always unhappy and can't extend conversation beyond a few meetings with people. It's this crap hole of a society with no teaching morals that creates my disdain for things that could be providing me with conversation , but won't. If only I could complain to these people what they give us.


i have to be honest, if you want friends you can connect with, i would lighten up a little bit..you seem to have a more negative view of the world and most people i know do not want to hang around people that just talk about the bad...people want to hang around others that will cheer them up and have a good time with..

i do agree with you though that finding compatible friends is very difficult..when i was younger i wasnt as picky, i would go with the flow and talk about anything but now, my time is more precious and i do not want to spend it hanging around a group of guys that just want to bust each others ball or talk about football..that gets old quickly but also, im not some super intellectual that wants to hang around people that only talk about quantum physics either lol...i like to laugh and have fun and its very hard to find a group or even a few individuals that get me and my personality..im also done with faking things in the attempt to just fit in..i do that enough at family parties and at work.. etc etc..

QuietMan1234
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2014 9:44 pm

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby QuietMan1234 » Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:52 am

tongue35 wrote:



It's funny you bring up faking it. I pretty much do that all the time. I pretty much fib all the time with people saying what I'm doing or a movie I saw even though I really didn't just to make conversation. Even stuff that I engage in that most people would find fun, I pretty much fake that I have a good time just so I don't hear people complaining that I'm a party pooper. I don't really get any satisfaction from it, but the worst part about life for me is that there is nothing I can do about bringing back the past. The truth is the past gave me all the satisfaction I could have possibly wanted. Nowadays it's the complete 360, I have all the dissatisfaction I could have possibly not wanted. I suppose it's all me being too hypocritical of the world, but I think that is me acting out of frustration based on my belief that the world can't seem to do anything right from my perspective. It is what it is though, but it's hard to get over the things that once made me happy that can't no longer happen.

tongue35
Senior Member
Posts: 242
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 12:24 am

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby tongue35 » Mon Dec 15, 2014 12:07 am

QuietMan1234 wrote:

It's funny you bring up faking it. I pretty much do that all the time. I pretty much fib all the time with people saying what I'm doing or a movie I saw even though I really didn't just to make conversation. Even stuff that I engage in that most people would find fun, I pretty much fake that I have a good time just so I don't hear people complaining that I'm a party pooper. I don't really get any satisfaction from it, but the worst part about life for me is that there is nothing I can do about bringing back the past. The truth is the past gave me all the satisfaction I could have possibly wanted. Nowadays it's the complete 360, I have all the dissatisfaction I could have possibly not wanted. I suppose it's all me being too hypocritical of the world, but I think that is me acting out of frustration based on my belief that the world can't seem to do anything right from my perspective. It is what it is though, but it's hard to get over the things that once made me happy that can't no longer happen.


yep, i fake conversations so much thats its natural to me..ill never understand people that call or text me first or stop over to my house and then have nothing to say..it boggles my mind so instead of avoiding the boredom of awkward silences i start asking questions and feigning interest..this backfires though so ive tried to stop doing it but its difficult as i dont like to be rude...

User avatar
SandWshooter
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 530
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:09 pm
MBTI code: ISTJ
Gender: Male
Contact:

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby SandWshooter » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:17 am

QuietMan1234 wrote:
By life lessons I mean things that should be taught by people to other people as far as behavior and actions that people shouldn't take. For example, when I was growing up I used to watch shows that had people teaching other people to not do drugs and then give them advice as to why it's the wrong course of action. Then there were other episodes that talked about the dangers of gambling and using guns and advice was given by people as to what actions we should take when confronted with these decisions. I just feel shows don't stress this and even if they do stress things about guns or drugs or stuff, they don't usually give advice to people as to what is the correct source of action. If anything, I think majority of shows promote more evil behavior then they do good behavior even if there is the presence of implied messages. When I mean messages, I mean messages that you would teach your kids or any other family member for that matter.



Hell, man, all those lessons about guns are TV are just to make you afraid of them like they're all some kind of evil, demonic objects. Best you disregard most things TV tells you, to be honest; it's all made by the same kind of people, and all those little "messages" are meant to push a very specific political ideal
Hi, mac!

Kurtis
Administrator
Administrator
Posts: 346
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2013 5:42 pm
Gender: Male
Photobucket: kurtisict
Soundcloud: kurtismedia
Contact:

I seem to have no interest in friends

Postby Kurtis » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:52 pm

SandWshooter wrote:

Hell, man, all those lessons about guns are TV are just to make you afraid of them like they're all some kind of evil, demonic objects. Best you disregard most things TV tells you, to be honest; it's all made by the same kind of people, and all those little "messages" are meant to push a very specific political ideal

Aye. Never believe everything you read about in the newspaper (or news show!)


Return to “Relationships”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest