Well-balanced relationship with an extravert

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fufufu
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:30 am

Well-balanced relationship with an extravert

Postby fufufu » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:11 am

In a relationship with an extravert, I give more than he gives me, I am in debt..
I have difficulties finding the right distance...

You, generally, in your relationship with an extravert, do you give to him more than he gives to you ?
Or the contrary ?

llw14
Posts: 73
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:06 pm
MBTI code: INTJ
Gender: Male

Well-balanced relationship with an extravert

Postby llw14 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:05 pm

Are you asking within the context of introversion/extroversion or just giving in general? I think my partner admittedly gives more than I do overall but in the case of social time, I definitely give more. I'd have to say that there's no situation I'd put my partner in where she's actually dreading it like it is the other way around where I'm dragged to social events I'm not too particularly keen on attending. I think the more I'm forced the more the introversion takes over and my social drive drops to almost zero. Extroverts will never really understand introversion and it will always be hard to balance a relationship with them. We're ok being alone while they go out and satisfy whatever social needs they have but it doesn't work the other way around. They won't accept you staying in while they go out and they want you to want to go out and enjoy yourself which is possible but I don't see it as any better than just staying home. (btw, all this is in regards to male introvert/female extrovert relationships; not sure how it works if the genders were flipped).

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fufufu
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Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2014 5:30 am

Well-balanced relationship with an extravert

Postby fufufu » Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:24 am

I don't mean I am in debt because I didn't go out, that's not my point at all because on that point I completely accepted myself.
What I mean is a correspondence for example, I am the one who gives more because I write more than the other, I answer faster than him to his letters so it makes me, to a certain extent, live at his expenses.
That's like, when I wrote to someone, I'll be like waiting for his answer maybe longer than him because I think of it more often ! That results in checking my e-mails several times per day.

Do you feel that too ?

tongue35
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Well-balanced relationship with an extravert

Postby tongue35 » Fri Sep 12, 2014 4:29 pm

hmm i think i get what you are saying..my take on this would be he is extroverted and while you are his gf, i assume he has many other friends out there whereas your world is much smaller..you probably have him and maybe 1-2 friends?as an extrovert he probably has a lot more going on socially in his life to keep up with than you do so this may be the reason for his delayed responses....?even then though, if you guys are serious you should be his focus and he should get back to you quickly..

how long have you been together?with guys or anyone for that matter, you never want to appear to be too clingy or dependent on him/her...


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