Male - female friendship

For discussions regarding relationships, including friends and family.
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Sunny49
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Male - female friendship

Postby Sunny49 » Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:31 am

Do you think it´s possible? What is your experience on that subject? Discuss! :)

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Male - female friendship

Postby scott85 » Wed Aug 21, 2013 3:47 pm

I only have a couple friends that are girls. We never really hang out unless if with other people it seems. most likely its just me. I seem to be way too smart and not very trendy to be liked by girls in general
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Postby SandWshooter » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:19 pm

I think it can work out fine
Hi, mac!

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Postby Kurtis » Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:54 pm

Sunny, I'm not sure I'm understanding your question. Are you asking if it's possible for a boy and girls to have a friendships together?

Personally, I'm not too bothered about the sex when it comes to friendship, I just usually prefer it if we know one another and get along without hinderance. I hate girls who go out drinking themselves to death as much as boys for example, but I wouldn't sustain a friendship with them kind of people regardless.

I believe it is possible to sustain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex, but it's finding the right people to sustain that relationship with. Having two sexes being friends doesn't necessarily mean it'll build (or fall) into a relationship.

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Sunny49
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Male - female friendship

Postby Sunny49 » Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:53 pm

Yes, that´s what I meant. Is it possible for two people of opposite sex to just be friends or will one of them always see the other one as a potential partner?

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Male - female friendship

Postby Blink » Sat Aug 24, 2013 9:46 pm

On a personal side, no. From experience absolutely not. You tend to fall in love with people when there is no pressure. And that's what people want from a lifelong partner, right? Friendship. It always ends up more complicated than how it started.

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Postby Kurtis » Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:28 am

Blink wrote:On a personal side, no. From experience absolutely not. You tend to fall in love with people when there is no pressure. And that's what people want from a lifelong partner, right? Friendship. It always ends up more complicated than how it started.

I don't think love within and of itself a negative thing (though it certainly can be, I'm sure). It's possible to love your best friend, for example, without it falling into infatuation, but I would say it's rarer. It's kind of why many same-sex friendships last a lot longer, there's no infatuation involved and it can't blossom into a relationship (unless of course you you're homosexual).

I think there's different levels of love (depending on the person), you have love at the intimate level, then love at a friendship level. There's love you have for your parents (and kids), girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses, siblings, wives/husbands, etc.

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Postby Dutchman » Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:27 pm

Sunny49 wrote:Yes, that´s what I meant. Is it possible for two people of opposite sex to just be friends or will one of them always see the other one as a potential partner?

A man can only be friends with a woman if and only if he's not physically attracted to her, she's a member of his family or if he's homosexual.

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Postby UnfoundKnowledge » Fri Nov 15, 2013 4:46 am

friends with benefits - the best kind of relationship

nuff said

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Postby Pathfinder » Sat Nov 30, 2013 2:40 am

I agree with Dutchman. It's pretty tough outside of what he mentioned. I've had many female friends in my lifetime and with most of them I wouldn't hesitate much to have a "roll in the hay" if I had a chance (and wasn't attached). I think you'll also find it interesting that about three quarters of my friends wives have made suggestive remarks or some sort of play for me at one time or another over the last 30 years. I'm okay with that BTW — I like the attention but I don't act on it.

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Postby tongue35 » Wed May 14, 2014 12:56 am

Sunny49 wrote:Yes, that´s what I meant. Is it possible for two people of opposite sex to just be friends or will one of them always see the other one as a potential partner?


well being a man i feel the need to be 100% honest, i do not think it is possible for a man to be a friend with a woman without the man wanting something more than just friendship..i consider myself a nice guy and i have never attempted to be friends with a woman just to be 'hang out' friends, i always wanted more..this goes for all of my past friends as well..if they dont want to have sex with that girl, they are looking to hook up with her sister or her other friends..the key thing is, if a man wants to sit and talk to someone, they will seek out a man as they will tend to see things more eye to eye..

now, of course i can be friends with my buddies girlfriend but that isnt the type of friendship that OP is talking about..i would never ask my friends GF to go out without my buddy coming along..

i think a male/female friendship can happen but its very very rare..women tend to be more naive on this subject than men :)

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Postby Justice » Wed May 14, 2014 7:24 pm

Seriously, it's not possible for a man to just be friends with a woman? I have 2 guys who I sometimes go the dinner with. Always with another woman. It's a group of 3 so to speak. Does that mean that the guy wants to be with one of us/looks at one of us differently?

If I look at myself, I Always have an opinion on a guy. Is he boyfriend-material is a question I ask myself. But that is just curiosity. I don't have feelings for that guy, I just wonder.
I don't consider myself naive, but maybe I need to rethink my opinion on the subject :p

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Postby Kurtis » Wed May 14, 2014 7:52 pm

Justice wrote:Seriously, it's not possible for a man to just be friends with a woman? I have 2 guys who I sometimes go the dinner with. Always with another woman. It's a group of 3 so to speak. Does that mean that the guy wants to be with one of us/looks at one of us differently?

If I look at myself, I Always have an opinion on a guy. Is he boyfriend-material is a question I ask myself. But that is just curiosity. I don't have feelings for that guy, I just wonder.
I don't consider myself naive, but maybe I need to rethink my opinion on the subject :p

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure on this subject. I don't think it's impossible for a man to just be 'friends' with a girl, if that is what he truly wants. I do think it's the same with you however, where that guys might wonder if 'is she girlfriend material, should I make a move?'

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Postby tongue35 » Thu May 15, 2014 3:30 am

Justice wrote:Seriously, it's not possible for a man to just be friends with a woman? I have 2 guys who I sometimes go the dinner with. Always with another woman. It's a group of 3 so to speak. Does that mean that the guy wants to be with one of us/looks at one of us differently?

If I look at myself, I Always have an opinion on a guy. Is he boyfriend-material is a question I ask myself. But that is just curiosity. I don't have feelings for that guy, I just wonder.
I don't consider myself naive, but maybe I need to rethink my opinion on the subject :p


well i dont think anyone can say with 100% certainty that a guy cannot be just friends with a girl but in all of my experience and the experience of my friends, all ive read, id guesstimate that 90-95% of the time the guy is wanting more out of the friendship than just casual conversation or the occasional movie :) all women should definitely be aware of this, just saying..

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Postby Pathfinder » Thu May 15, 2014 4:23 pm

tongue35 wrote: id guesstimate that 90-95% of the time the guy is wanting more out of the friendship than just casual conversation or the occasional movie :) all women should definitely be aware of this, just saying..


I believe that biologically men are programmed to procreate as often as possible and with as many females as possible. Most women I know are well aware of that too. There are still some cultures in fact where you can see plain evidence right in front of your eyes that will attest that these are our primal instincts. I think that in our society we men refrain from our biological urges because of moral conditioning, and for many the consideration of financial repercussions.

In the end it is the women who decide who their mates will be, albeit from a given set of suitors. It is then her task to keep him sticking around, providing and behaving himself.

It's been said that women give sex for love, and men give love for sex. I believe that to be true.

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Male - female friendship

Postby Justice » Sat May 17, 2014 8:40 am

Pathfinder wrote:
It's been said that women give sex for love, and men give love for sex. I believe that to be true.


I think that it's all very black and white what you're saying in your post. You make it seem like women have all the power and control, when I know women who would like a normal relationship based on respect. And women having the 'task' to keep the men sticking around etc is also very black or white. I guess that also means that when men disappear or are fed up with the women, it's all the womens fault?

A relationship should be based on giving sometimes and receiving sometimes, not on power, control or tasks either of the one should have. It's a grey area.

Besides, if women only give sex for love and men only give love for sex, I feel very sorry for many children. Their parents only had them because love or sex can't be equally important for both men and women.

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Postby Annie » Sat May 17, 2014 9:18 pm

I believe that a relationship should be based on mutual respect plus giving and receiving. I do not tolerate being used or only being around to fulfil a mans sexual urges.
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Postby Pathfinder » Wed May 21, 2014 3:31 am

I'm referring to basic human instinct, not what we think or want relationships to be. We don't have to like our instincts it but in a basic sense that's the way we are and it's probably one of the primary reasons we have survived as a species.

Justice, you said the following:
You make it seem like women have all the power and control, when I know women who would like a normal relationship based on respect.

And if the women don't get respect? The female exercises her "control" as you call it and chooses not to spend time with that person right? (Annie's comment also supports my assertion.)

I guess that also means that when men disappear or are fed up with the women, it's all the womens fault?

I didn't say that. A man's instinct keeps him thinking about other opportunities. It's that simple.

You don't have to look to far to see that men will still, in this day and age, act on opportunity it if he's dissatisfied with his mate's sexual appetite. Conversely women will also wonder to another male who is more attentive to her needs if her mate is failing to treat her as she wants to be treated. Many of my co-workers have fallen to that fate by working too much over-time or otherwise being unavailable. To have a successful relationship each of us must adequately address the other's primal desires as well as the higher level stuff mentioned by the others here. If you ignore that your relationship is doomed to fail.

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Postby tongue35 » Fri May 23, 2014 3:11 pm

^^i was just about to say, both men and women tend to stray from their current mate if he/she isnt fulfilling their needs..problem is today, with men and women working so much, hustle with the kids, its very difficult to satisfy each others needs...emotionally, physically and elsewhere, i see so many broken couples because of this..it seems one person is always lacking in a key area..

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Postby Pathfinder » Sun May 25, 2014 10:44 pm

I have also seen a lot of broken marriages at my place of employment. You can almost predict the ones that will eventually break up by the number of weekends they work and/or the amount of overtime they work during the week. Obviously if they're working they're not enjoying the company of their wives/husbands or building/maintaining their relationships.

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Postby happykelp » Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:25 am

I have a solid friendship with an opposite gender person and we've been friends for 13 years. We were introduced through a hobby and built common ground from that. There was no intimacy/sexual desire but we care about each other like we would with family. The only time I ever had weird feelings or urge to pursue my friend was when I was brokenhearted and single for a while. But then I realized that I would hate to make our relationship awkward and wreck our friendship. When I really thought about it sober, I didn't act on it because I know that it was wrong, insincere, misleading, etc. You have to be genuine with the person and be truly honest to yourself of what you really want out of the relationship. If you are single and you want to be somewhat "available" while still being friends. That is not gonna fly. If you are befriending someone because you're romantically/sexually attracted to them, I think you should let them know that from the start or just simply date them. I don't think genuine friendship is made that way.


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